One fine Sunday in Merseyside

Living in Liverpool, Merseyside
Living in Liverpool, Merseyside

I live in Liverpool in a lovely historic house towards the southern suburbs and rarely venture out to merseyside due to the filthy **** society it you can call it that.

As I recently moved to Liverpool, the are is somewhat unfamiliar to me so I decided to take a drive one lovely Sunday afternoon .

I was driving near princes park and lost my way ,the turning I took must have been wrong because I ended up in Merseyside which seemed to be a very unsavoury place even at the best of times but today many hooded youths lined the streets clad in flashy Nike shoes and apparel of Fred perry.

How grim is your Postcode?

Down a shady street , each side of me houses were evident with squalor and decay ,men in grubby tank tops squatted in filth and every so often a house looked nice with a flashy car so I was able to determine where drug lords lived determined with the squalor of the rest of the council estate .

The further I drove in to hell the more I wanted to be far far away from Merseyside .Eventually I reached a place where a group of eight or nine youths loitered next to a red golf and a blue golf both of which were engineered with brightly coloured wheel rims and spoilers .

I decided to ask directions and rolled my car window to converse with these young men , as I drew near the youths stopped kicking their larger cans and all turned to stare at me threateningly.”Excuse me lads I am lost and wondered if you could give me directions to the city centre , to which one said in a dialect I was unfamiliar with although I picked up the gist ” Mate I will put a bottle in Your throat, me and the Mersey Crew will batter you ” The youth kicked my car and tried to force the door open, which I thank god was locked and drove , I put a few miles between me and the “Mersey crew” when I realised I was driving in more familiar territory.

The moral of the story never go to Merseyside, i beg, unless you a) are six foot nine and are knotted with muscles or b) if you want to get “battered”

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