Waterloo, Liverpool, Property guide and review
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Merseyside, North West, United Kingdom

This is allegedly a nice place to live. The house prices are ridiculously high and there is a “beach” nearby. I lived in this weird place for 2 years before moving elsewhere in Liverpool.

Most of the so-called action centres around the drinking Mecca of South Road. Most tatty and shitty shops tend to go out of business and end up as “wine bars” – what a 90’s expression. There are an irnodinate amount of scally pubs in South Road, the only problem is that they are not populated by true, hard scallies but Waterloo w*****s who think they are hard, just big fish in a very small pond who dress like scallies and overdo the scouse accent, if they went to Toxteth or Norris Green they’d s**t themselves. The pubs are mainly populated by men who wear JJB gear or wear Ben Shermans bought from the clothes shop in South Road, they would venture to Liverpool city centre to shop (a 15 minute train ride away) but I think the big city scares most of them. The women aren’t much cop either, any girl over the age of 18 has more than likely slept with 10 fellas out of each pub in South Road, so if you are thinking of going there to pull, the only thing that will get pulled is your cock whilst getting the umbrella treatment at the VD clinic!

You can regularly see fights in fantastic places like the Waterloo Tavern, the Raven, Alex (Chaviest of all, Henri Lloyd striped jumpers and Lacoste trackies a go go). The Alex has held more fights than Madison Square Garden, most are over nothing as well. There is a taxi rank right outside so if you do get thrown out by the bouncers you can fight over a taxi too!

My friend lived in Waterloo when he was 16 and left to work away, he said he came back recently and still saw the same people in the pubs when he left. He saw a blonde guy set fire to his pubes in the Liver, he swore that this guy was doing this as his party trick when he saw him last, he also got battered straight after – a similar occurence to last time. Life has never moved on, that was 12 years later.

The ultimate Chavvy place is Esperanto – Desperanto should I say, a crappy New York/Hollywood themed drinking establishment with too many middle aged men who’ve been having sex with their right hand for the last few years. The ratio of women to men in here is 1-45, so even the biggest ugliest swamp monster can choose who she wants to take back to her house full of kids to shag. This reminds me of s**t nightclubs in Blackpool or Southport, the tack is unbelievable.

Waterloo is overpriced by estate agents and landlords but God only knows why. If you think South Road is a great place to drink then yes, you may want to pay top dollar but other than that it hasn’t got much going for it. The beach is filthy, there is a toilet that is frequented by paedophiles, there are gangs of 12 year olds in the nearby park gardens drinking cheap cider, plus the council planners thought it would be great to put up 2 Stalinist Tower blocks to spoil the view. Move up to St. Johns Road and that is crapness in one street, lots of battered old shops, takeaways, sayers, cheap bling, a 2nd hand furniture store, 50p shops, a gym populated by steroid abusing grocks and where 2 men were shot in the head by a masked gunman. “Can I have a word about cancelling my gym membership please?”

Waterloo drinking holes in order of Chavness:

1: The Alex
2: The Raven
3: The Ferndale
4: The Waterloo Tavern
5: The Desperanto
6: The Lion & Unicorn
7: The Old Bank
8: The Vic
9: The Liver
10: Parnells

The top four you are likely to get involved in a fight no problem. Mind you Crosby isn’t much better these days either!. Save your money and live elsewhere.