Stanwell: The Town Directed By John Carpenter

Living in Stanwell, Middlesex

Some towns are glaringly bad, often apologetically so. Then there are towns whose insidious nature lures folk like the sirens of the sea. As kids, we called it the mutant village of Stanwell. If you have ever seen the John Carpenter motion picture “In The Mouth Of Madness”, you can get a glimpse of the […]

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How to fit in around Ashford or Stanwell

Living in Ashford, Middlesex

If your a girl in Ashford or Stanwell, first you must have extremely large love handles ******* over the top of your market jeans. Your extremely tight t-shirt should show every roll of fat whilst clearly showing every stretch mark. This t-shirt should proudly display the words I AM A TEAMPLAYER. Then on the back […]

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Well what can i say, they’ve taken over, the townies/chavsters now rule the once quiet little town of Uxbridge. They gather (in a similar, well exact actually, fashion to flys around a steaming pile of you know what) around several specific “wicked hang out joints” which include the ****** jewellery stores, the **** section of […]

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Twickenham conjures up idyllic walks by the thames, that is ********!

Living in Twickenham, West London

When someone say Twickenham the mind usually conjures up images of triumphant victories at rugby or walks by the thames or a nice place to retire. f*****g ********! I have had the misfortune of living in a really nice area of Twickenham for the past year however my life still gets invaded by the likes […]

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Never mind bumfights, for chavfights come to the waterside gardens of sunny Brentford, home of Brentford FC and more burberry caps than are strictly necessary…. Brentford, Middlesex, is a riverside town well known for its Arts Centre, a football team, a number of pubs, a legendary Griffin, and being the former home of the writer […]

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uxbridge, middlesex

macdonalds, kfc, pavillion shoppin centre, even though no money to buy anything, but there is an indoor market in there selling all the latest fake brands…royals nightclub is a favourite especially on under 18 nights…where many a 13 year old **** gets inpregnated……outside the civic centre waiting for thier mums to sign up to yet […]

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