Bury, the inconvenient spec on the Manchester A-Z, is home to what is erroneously named the “Famous Market” which is such a glorious shopping zone that it’s “Word Renowned”, well I asked somebody whilst on holiday with my paternal family in Pakistan “Did you know Bury Market” when I was asked where I reside. Bluntly the chap didn’t a ******* clue where Bury or its sh*thole of a market was from, I was going to follow up that it’s home of Famous [that overused word strikes again] Black Puddings, then I realised with the contents being Pigs blood, the probability of him knowing what a black pudding was where pretty damn slim, also I didn’t want have him gross up a greeny on my foot in disgrace. So the whole Famous jargon about my little town is utter *****.
The town has recently had a rather expensive retail/leisure district built at the heart of town, which was fantastic at improving the town, unfortunately the shopping mall next door lost big chain stores to the new complex and resulted in the mall looking like the set to Jacksons Thriller music video, empty shops sat dormant for months until new shops opened, unfortunately these new retailers only make the place more of a dive. The little stalls on wheels that would sit in the middle of a path, where moving on up to bricks and mortar; the only problem is that filling a large store the size of a district post office that is only stocked from floor to ceiling with technology cases, screen protectors and other associated shizzle, imported with 2nd class postage from Asia, with illegal chemicals and all – is not an improvement to the precinct, fortunately if you are wanting to treat yourself to a luxury dinner (Lunch to those educated), there are at least a [Bakers] dozen classy chain pasty shops to get 4 hard sausages rolls for a quid and if that bargain is up your street then behold not 1, not 2 – but 3 popular £1 shops ( for those who are hardcore bargain hunters – there is even a 99p shop).
So if you don’t mind shopping in the substandard market and coping with Eau De Piss lingering in the air or those who are fitness conscious will admire the market halls “world famous” sticky floors which need a JCB to assist removing your foot from the flooring and build thigh muscles in no time, you’re all welcome at our lovely little award winning grime centre of the North West that is Bury, Greater Manchester.
Please note Vaccines are reccomended before entering public zones.
Middleton: The Gammon-filled Place Where Dreams Come to Die
Radcliffe – Bedsit land for the incoming Bury oxygen thieves
Rochdale, gain an understanding of this excremental town
Bolton… beyond the term “dreadful”
A good number of men living in Burnley have had it with their sister
Uppermill – Saddleworth’s Dumping Ground
Darwen: a pretty little market town? the reality can’t be more different!
Heywood: it has nothing to offer anyone who is normal and decent