Bishop’s Stortford – The Planner’s Dream Goes Wrong

Living in Bishop's Stortford, Hertfordshire

I’ve lived in Bishop’s Stortford for the past seven years and the best words I can think of to describe the experience are “more frustrating than a spoon with a hole in it”. The thing is, it could be a perfectly nice town with just a bit of care and thought. It certainly looks nice […]

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Harlow – Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter…

Living in Harlow, Essex

I like to think I’m a fairly hardened sort of person towards ugliness but I was not prepared for Harlow. I spent the early parts of my life in such, shall we say less than aesthetically pleasing, places as Middlesbrough, Bradford, Stoke-on-Trent and pre-gentrification Hackney. About five years, ago, I started a new job in […]

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Hertford: fetid with the haughty stench of smug self righteousness

Living in Hertford, Hertfordshire

Hertford is a small satellite market town in the heart of the Home Counties. It conjures up images of The Archers on Radio 4 in the minds eye. Mature oak trees, winding country roads, grandiose stately homes and plush green fields surround a quintessentially English aesthetic complete with a river that is flanked by beautiful […]

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Harlow, Essex’s answer to Pripyat

Living in or moving to Harlow, Essex

What to say about Harlow…a place that new town planners had taken their primordial scalpel to and butchered leaving characterless housing estates and banal shrines of grey concrete that for some reason were supposed to represent progression, prosperity and modernism. For example Terminus House, a huge monstrosity at the epicentre of the town that both […]

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Harlow – A Fetid Stool Of A Town Stinking Up Britain

Harlow, Essex, Property guide and review

Harlow is easily one of the worst ****-hotspots in Britain bar-none and is the ideal place to go if you’re borderline suicidal and need that tiny bit of incentive to get you reaching for the kitchen-knife and carving your wrists up with fevered urgency. There are two sculptures in the centre of Harlow that are of […]

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Waltham Abbey, Essex aka “d-abbey”

Waltham Abbey, Essex, Property guide and review

Having grown up in **** central, (r-low), it was very nice to move to “d-abbey”. there wasn’t a **** for miles. that all come to a blinging end about 12/18 months ago when chavlings started loitering at “the square” the local shops in hillhouse as they affectionately call it. the first thing that is blindingly […]

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