Waltham Abbey, Essex aka “d-abbey”

Waltham Abbey, Essex, Property guide and review
Waltham Abbey, Essex, Property guide and review

Waltham Abbey, Essex aka “d-abbey”

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Having grown up in **** central, (r-low), it was very nice to move to “d-abbey”. there wasn’t a **** for miles. that all come to a blinging end about 12/18 months ago when chavlings started loitering at “the square” the local shops in hillhouse as they affectionately call it. the first thing that is blindingly obvious as soon as you open you get within 50 yards is the aroma of freshly rolled joints. Waltham Abbey does have some of the loudest weed about. Bare shotters in nine fields can get bare draw. Springle is not your guy he takes long so does Sway if you know you know.

there is always a squadron of ***** on duty, led by the elder rankin ***** on there pathetic attempts of scooters, that have been mutilated to try and resemble a big bike, down to the 10ish ***** repeatedly kicking a ball against the closed shops with a force beckham would be proud of.

next to the offie is the access stairs to the flats above, these are out of site of the main arena, and make a good place to get it on with the she-*****, and roll joints, unfortunately this is the only access to the flats and as such the elderly residents become prisoners, because venturing down after dark results in a torrent of single word abuse.

There is CCTV in the square, but this doesn’t seem to bother the *****, they probably assume it’s some sort of reality show.

as you approach the square from the north side there is an endless amount of **** poetry (graffiti), detailing what chavella is like in bed..sorry the slide/woods/roundabout. Friday nights are the most populated evenings, this is when you get endless calls from the ***** of “can u get me sum faaggz/booze” there all done up in there best burberry caps reebok classics, all getting pi**ed and stoned.

if your really lucky on a sat morning, you may be able to spot a small group of elder ***** in the end flat above the supermarket downing stellas on the balcony, i’m talking 09.00 in the morning.

The abbey is a **** town on the increase, i have only touched on the small area i know about i have still to discover the delights of the town ***** or the roundhill *****. still i live in anticipation.
as for the uprising of ***** in the abbey one can only assume that they of harlow **** descendant.


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