Blackpool: The Seaside Town They Forgot To Close Down

Living in Blackpool, Lancashire
Living in Blackpool, Lancashire

Blackpool: The Seaside Town They Forgot To Close Down

LancashireSatire

Blackpools a holdover from a different time. A time when every single one of us unlucky people were stuck on this awful island and flights to somewhere halfway decent was reserved to only the richest among us. Back then in these “days of yore” Blackpool was visited by all kinds of hard-working British families for a lovely seaside break. Now with the creation of Easy Jet our greatest export, most have taken to the skies to go and mess up every other country on this pimple on the backside of the milky way we call Planet Earth.

So with most on an exotic international adventure with our tax money what does that leave Blackpool with? Why the people who are quite possibly banned from flights after drinking too much and fighting on the plane. These poor souls descend on Blackpool for a drug-induced minor crime spree throughout Blackpools terrible attractions.

So with Blackpool being considered a holiday town what are these lovely attractions that can be enjoyed? Not much is the answer you’re looking for! Honestly only in a country as bad as this could Blackpools themepark be called pleasure beach. Pleasure beach? I think Brits have had more pleasure on the beaches of Normandy than we’ve ever had at “pleasure beach.” After five minutes in that rubbish, you’ll wish some **** had blown your grandpappies head off so you wouldn’t have to be here in this dump. Other than that there isn’t much else to be seen in the wider hole known as Blackpool, the locals recommend class A drugs and hard liquor which are in plentiful supply.

It’s no wonder Blackpool is one of the most crime-riddled places in this crime-riddled dump known as the UK. Murder and *** crimes are quickly becoming common place, although killing someone in Blackpool is closer to a mercy killing than an actual murder. Drug crime already common place and at this point, not taking drugs and being a junkie with six kids to different people will leave you very out of place in this town.

Any local with half a brain cell to their name packed up whatever meagre possessions they had and left years ago. This leaves Blackpool with the people who actually enjoy the place and old people who have been left behind by their family and spend every day eagerly awaiting the reaper to come and whisk them away to somewhere better. It could be Hell honestly, no matter where you end up after death it cannot be worse than Blackpool.


Top 10 worst places to live in England 2020






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