Living in Northolt, West London
  Written by Anonymous. Posted in London, West London. Pic Via

Northolt (or Norfol_ as pronounced locally. They don’t exactly omit the final ‘t’ but substitute it with a letter of their own making; a letter that makes the sound of a ‘t’ indolently dropped on a bed of fag ends,used condoms and dummies) is twinned with Hayes and the two deserve each other.

So banal a place is Northolt that there aren’t even any nearby Chav stores for them to steal from so they have to commute to Hayes for Argos, Wilkinson’s and the out of town retail park that includes Mothercare and the generic, cheap sports shop with its shelves stocked, briefly, with excellent Chav thieving ware. Northolt does provide the occassional row of shops (‘parade’ is too big a word for the derelict crud peddling outlets) for them to hang about outside, spit and laugh at the simpering community police officers who might inadvertantly mince within a hundred metres of them, but in the main the dismal buffoons drift across the barren plains of Northolt on their way to Hayes or Greenford like (barely) human tumbleweed.

Borne on the wind like the spores of a particularly nasty fungi, they drift together into the corners of the park in Down Way trying to out-spit,out-swear,out-drink and generally out-do each other. Or, if not there, then they can be found in Islip Manor park which is far more secluded and conducive to the joyless f*****g that invariably produces more Schott loving sub humanity. They leave used condoms in their wake but what are they used for? It’s not contraception.

For a group that, presumably, choose each others company there seems to be a lot of hatred and aggression amongst them. They regularly fight each other and the last such combat I saw was between two women; one of them had enough multi-coloured children with her to resemble a Beneton advert and the other one had a bare stomach that reminded me of an apple crumble. As they tried to tear each others hair out (impossible as they both had face-lift tight ponytails) their dull eyed brainless children looked on non-plussed by the spectacle of these revolting chain smoking, chain wearing crudlodites grappling with each other, snot running from their in-bred noses into there bacteria harnessing dummies and down their vile little throats. The fight put me right off lesbian scenes in films.

Why do they do it? Have they no shame? Northolt has never been more than a large housing estate or a place for people to drive through on the A40 to be somewhere nice but the people living there used to be decent enough. Now these people have infected the place with their anti-social idiocy to the point where it needs to be fumigated and then fumigated again, just to be sure. I feel nothing but contempt for these parasitic, stomach churning, crisp eating, drug taking, endlessly procreating, fight starting, life negating thread worms in the gut of suburbia. Does that come across…? 

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2018