Llandudno Junction’s illiteracy concert

Living in Llandudno Junction, Wales
Living in Llandudno Junction, Wales

Over the past few years Llandudno Junction has had an influx of people who sadly cannot read or perform basic mental tasks. This had made the Town (with the amenities of a village) a front runner for the nations lowest IQ. This has worried many people not just in the UK but across the world. Things are so bad that the mayor of the Ethiopian town called Jimma decided to host a benefit concert.

Remembering Live Aid and the successful Christmas hit “Do they know it’s Christmas”, Mr Mayor felt it was their turn to repay the gesture. He mentioned to the Jimma Chronicle on March the 7th 2020 “The proceeds from Live Aid helped our town out of the famine and have contributed to the success of our literacy campaign. It is heartbreaking to see such a town in the first world in such a dreadful state”. The concert on March the 10th was one of the biggest benefit concerts held in Ethiopia for a few years. Acts such as The Rolling Rocks, Gob Beldof and Ilton Johns were only part of the superstar lineup.

They raised £4566.88 in total for textbooks and cod liver oil for the residents of Junction. The Mayor of Jimma later explained “Illiteracy is one of the worst things in the modern world without it people will be clever enough not to buy lottery tickets, tobacco, lager and scratchcards. We hope Llandudno Junction turns it self round in the next few years”.

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When the money was delivered however a family took it and spent it on Vodka, JPS Real Blue and £275 worth of scratchcards. Considering the past events it looks like Llandudno Junction may win the title of lowest average IQ 2020. An achievement that we must not regard as unimpressive.

Who knows where the next Benefit concert will be held for Junction? There are rumors that the town of Chernobyl Ukraine are planning one for the alcoholism epidemic. We hope this will be more successful but we can only see what happens.

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