Visit Trowbridge, a place Thomas Cook would describe as “Lively” a world of McDonalds sunday dinners, glass filled scotch eggs, the home of Isaac Pitman ( the inventor of shorthand don’t you know) and view **** wildlife in all its splendour

Their natural habitat is the well renowned Snooker Club, see them perform a tribal dance to the tunes of Scooter. For a quieter life, there are alternative places, although you are likely to be be beaten with a Pool Cue for not conforming to the **** tribe

For history visit the underage Psychic Pig club ( or Jitter club) as the ***** may say. This has been a area of tribal conflict for many years.

How grim is your Postcode?

Sadly, this club has now moved to the former pole dancing arena Club FX. Only today I read an article in the Wiltshire Crimes (Times) paper about how Jitters will be welcomed into the club as “a place where people can come out and have a good time and they’re not going to get chucked out for being sick or falling asleep” This haven of hymen popping will soon be over run by the kebab breathed *****, expelled from the ‘spoons for an evening of blood shed.

Recent events include jaded popsters 911 playing in the park, whilst someone forgot to take their child home from Asda car park at 3am.

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