Ripon what a place! About 20 minutes away from harrogate (it’s rival turf) this little town or shud I say City as it is correctly known, sits quietly untill approximately 5 o’clock (or when ever school isnt on) when the ***** come out to play. Ripon along with Harrogate …etc is known as Posh land. Although people could not be so wrong about this **** ridden little hole.
You’ve really gotta watch your self walking past the market square on a night, you can garentee the same young face’s you saw pooring out of school a couple of hours before will be perched on the some 26 year old’s knee with a bottle of ‘lambrini’ held tighly in her hand. It really makes me wonder…..dont these older ***** have any thing better to do?…..but here’s the catch, there all band from the local pub’s for partaking in Ripon’s traditional squady fight night! So while the young *********’ fathers drink themselves stupid there daughters are getting a good seeing to in the beatiful spa gardens!
To be a **** in Ripon you really must have a well known (stupidly unforgettable) nick name and a reputation for being ‘mental’ (as the delightful Riponers say).
If your lucky enough to experience seeing the charming Ripon ***** either whilst walking your dog in the spa gardens, walking past ‘Wakie’ corner, past Matrix night club on a friday/saturday night or simply walking through town, take a moment to glance over at them. I love the way ****’s always have that leader that stands out from the rest, the tall, fat, flat faced one with the loudest voice, the one all the others seem to try and be like.
You also have to be careful of ‘the car *****’ in Ripon as they try there best to speed over the numerous speed bumps round the market square u might see all 9 of them packed into one corsa.
The night club’s in Ripon are also very entertaining with the **** lighting and hillarious arguements every weekend the night soon fly’s by. Montey’s is always a laugh as you sit with the huge crowd of 5 people you’ve never met before. But Monteys is only like this 5 nights of the week becuase it has it’s local open stage night on wednesday night (commonly known as strippers night)
Other than Monteys you could try and bare the Matrix (or Trix as it’s famously known), although water skiing in the toilet is some times rather tricky, especially when your trying to hold your arms out like the rest of the daft twats in there. At the end of the day Ripon is great! as long as none of the ****’s no you exist.