I decided to write this after reading about how the previous entry about Padiham kicked up such a fuss. Another reason is that when people write about ****’s they tend to focus entirely on teenagers. Well I do not discriminate they come in all ages, colours, creeds, and religions.
The previous entry was very funny and spot on, but what made the whole situation so funny was the outrage of the mayor. Because what this guy, who I believe received a sense of humour by-pass in the late seventies didn’t realise was that his section in the Padiham Express brought the entry to a much larger audience! Well-done son. They say there’s no such thing as bad publicity!
Anyway on with it.
The thing I love (or loathe should that be) about the ***** in Padiham is that there is no age limit. Padiham has it’s very own Peter Pan’s, who skive school while in their teens, drinking the ***** that they drink, while 25 of them share a single skinned joint.
Then they become old enough to drink in the pubs (15+) and mate with a local boiler, knock her about a bit, before leaving her with a “creature” or two and moving onto their next unfortunate victim. Mind you, you can’t blame the ****’s. The local boilers deem this as acceptable behaviour, so why not?
Then once they’ve officially left school they join the army (the good ones) and I believe some of them stick with it for as long as 6 months before going AWOL, and spending the next 6 months sewing bags in Colchester.
They never learn or grow up. There are 40-year-old ***** in Padiham. A conversation was taking place outside my house a couple of weeks ago. It was between two 40+ men. It went a little something like this.
Imagine deep pie eating accent
” I’ve been out, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and now tonight (Monday). I tell you I was so ******* drunk on Saturday that I ended up twating someone. Don’t know who, in fact I only knew what I done when I read the police report the next day”
This is a perfectly normal conversation on the way home from a Padiham pub.
The other great thing about Padiham ****’s is the mindless racism. These people who all vote for BNP yet go to the local curry house after the pub, and buy their Burnley F.C shirt with 10 Akinbiyi on the back!
When I’ve been walking through Padiham late at night, after leaving one of the many lock in’s and the streets are empty I’ve looked about and realised that it is a nice town, surrounded by hills, and when the sky isn’t grey (which admittedly isn’t very often) the town can look charming. However it is the **** people that make it the cesspit that it is renowned as.