Written by Anonymous. Posted in Merseyside, North West, United Kingdom

Chavs and scallies

Firstly I would like to point out that I have lived in Liverpool
all my life and feel obliged to point out a few points about chavs/scallies.
Firstly were im from (west derby) a chav is someone who wears burberry and is
from saint Helens or deep in Lancashire. Scallies are
the hooded c***s and lacoste clad wearing bastards that infest this city and
give all decent scousers a bad name.

The most interesting thing about a scally
is that they are not intimidating or “hard” unless they have their big crew
with them. If you approached and stood up to a scally or chav and they were on
their own then they would be as butch as an ice skaters friend.

Scallies also tend to group in a club or s**t hole as I
prefer to call it called THE PLEASURE ROOMS! Seeing as my uncle owns this dank
and uninviting place I believe I have a unique insight to the type of
“intelligent individuals” who go there. The reason scallies go there is because
drugs are easily and readily available. The music is a concoction of Christ
knows what and some blithering idiot who always asks the question “have u been
out lately, have u been to a pleasure rooms party”? Yes I have been out lately
but heaven forbid no not to a pleasure rooms party. Wipe your feet on the way
out please. Also, scallies as young as 13 have been known to go into that
place, so its easy to get into. Another interesting Trait about scallies or
chavs is that they gloat about the fact that they have been to town since they
were 12. It seems to be a competition that whoever has been to town at the
youngest age is the hardest or most respected. But how do they afford it? The
boys rob money or mug someone, or use dole. Girls go to town with enough money
for a taxi home and one drink and pull some random fella in order for their
drinks to be paid. The random fella is usually some massive stocky skinheaded
c**t who is probably twice their age.

Which brings me to another point. Scally
girls need to go out with the oldest and most “hardest” lad available. Extra
respect is awarded if the fella is a doorman, drug dealer, stocky bastard or known
criminal. Scally girls also feel the need to visit the many sunbed shops in Liverpool
at least once a day for 15 minutes a go. I know this to be true as I used to
know a girl from Maghull (and I shall talk about that place later) and she went
on the sunbeds for 15 mins every day. And is it just me or do scally girls tend
to wait at bus stops in the middle of the night waiting for lads in cars to
come pick them up and shag them? If anyone would like a live demonstration of
this please go to the croxteth estate or the bootle area.

Scally lads tend to nowadays (in Liverpool
anyway) drive the ford focus or if they are a little bit more wealthy, a brand
new fiesta. They feel the need to pack in as many lads as possible and drive
around pointlessly snarling everyone they see. How can you even begin to act
hard in a fiesta please? Or a ford focus? Scally lads who drive ford focus’s
are usually beginner drug dealers. A more advanced drug dealer scally would
drive a new model Vauxhall vectra or a W reg lexus.

Oh and don’t get me started on the clothes please! Lacoste
tracksuits? Them stupid hats with the flaps on the sides? I call them twat
hats. Girl scallies must wear as little clothing as possible even in the winter
months when they parade around town in the previous summer’s clothing. I feel
no pity for them when they appear to be freezing.

Coming back to scally hang outs, Liverpool
is rife with them. A few popular ones are, The Meadows and Red House in
Maghull, The sefton arms in west derby, THE GRAFTON, otterspool prom, The
Merton in bootle, the fudge, the sunrise, the barracuda etc the list is
endless. However one interesting thing about the meadows in maghull in
particular is the fact that if you go to watch kicking out time every Sunday
evening, you will see that once the pub has emptied, the scally bastards
congregate outside after closing time for at least another 2 hours and just
loiter, and the bastards just wont go home!

Maghull is rising in the ranks
regarding its scally population but a new breed exists in Maghull. The
“Wanna-be Big Boy” Usually, this type of nonce goes around thinking that he is
hard and knows lots of hard people but the fact is he probably drives a second
hand lexus or vectra and comes from a middle-upper class family and the only
violence he has been involved in is that which comes on a DVD.

Were I am from in West Derby has its
fair share of these scum bags. The old Cheshire
lines railway (dubbed the Raller) that is a beautiful walk is infested with
this scum. In particular the old west derby station is rife with scally school
girl scum at lunchtimes and at hometimes were they all meet members of west
derby comp and “neck” eachother. West derby also possesses croxteth park which
sadly is a no go area in the summer months because the scallies tend to
congregate at the old manor house because herd and fitz’s song “I just cant get
enough” was filmed there last summer. This once beautiful public park given to
the council in 1972 by the earls of sefton has now been ruined by these little
s***s.

The one last thing I feel the need to get off my chest is
the scally attitude. If girls are not glowing orange, they are Goths. If lads
don’t have skinheads or crew cuts they are Goths. Scally lads feel they must
fight as much as possible, act hard, snarl everything in sight and intimidate
everything that moves. Scally girls feel the need to shag the oldest stockiest
hardest bloke going and snort coke on a regular basis.

In short, avoid Maghull, Anfield, Old Swan, Kirby, Bootle,
Everton, Litherland, basically most of Liverpool. But
most of all avoid the PLEASURE ROOMS and the MEADOWS!


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