Written by Anonymous. Posted in North East, United Kingdom, Yorkshire

Keighley, possibly the home of chavs, it has many pubs and clubs, lots of places to hang out and wreck stuff but possibly most importantly, the actual burberry factory is on the outskirts. Not that that really matters as knock off copies are available in most local car boot sales. Keighley, pronounced “keeffffli” where I have witnessed people wearing clowns of 5 sizes in a sort of grotesque ‘V’. This place has the ethics ‘its ok to buy boxed stolen goods as they come from factorys’ and its not ok to swear in front of women but ok to get full of stella and beat them.

The average Keighley wedding usually consists of Groom (with Keighley tatooed on his neck) staggering down North street still ‘stella’d’ up from the night before to his heavily pregnant chain smoking ‘bird’, getting married then after several fights the groom is carted home and the bride can be found with the best man.

A place where “our lass” means both sister and girlfriend.

Gold shops are everywhere as are sporting goods shops so the newly minted chav, with fresh benefits burning holes in their pockets, can get all the accesories needed before drinking enough to want to take on the world, usually on Church Green. Pregnant women fighting is usually the best, or roaming groups of tooled up kids ready to fight anyone.

The ironic thing is they all like to tear off there designer shirts before fighting on the Green, a place where naked street fighting was commonplace in the 18th centuary.

Keighley has examples of all kids of chav, from small kids in burberry prams to old women with so much bling showing, it must make them about 2 stone heavier.


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