Shipley, West Yorkshire – It’s just dire

The Bradfordian author Robert Swindells once wrote a novel called ‘Brother in the Land’. Set in a post apocalyptic Shipley things looked pretty bleak. If you were to visit today you would be forgiven for thinking that this depressing tome is anything but a work of nonfiction.

Shipley is a small nowhere town on the outskirts of Bradford and a few miles from Leeds. It has some smashing council estates and they filmed parts of the **** classic ‘Rita, Sue, and Bob too’ in the local area as well. Ken Loach would love it.

If it’s a bottle in the face and genuinely too-closely-related ***** you’re after, then the town centre on a friday/saturday night is your best bet. They drink themselves into a stupor at Lloyds near the taxi rank and then either bottle each other to death, or get a taxi into Bradford to continue the merriment and general intimidation of any normal people who happen to be nearby.

As usual the male will be sporting the usual Sports Direct attire while smoking lambert & butler cigarettes. The girls will all be wailing like banshees and running around with no shoes on.

The behaviour outlined above can generally be confined to the weekend. During the week the town centre is overrun with ch4vmums, cider tramps, truants, roadmen and a general air of ch4vishness.

This place is just too rubbish for words really. Every time I go back there, I see people I went to school with pushing prams about with really ugly babies in them. Also the only shops in Shipley are pound shops and charity shops.

So come and visit Shipley: birthplace of the fat one from girls aloud, home to the ginger one from the full monty, the jewel of the Aire Valley!!!

Search acu591317 on the Temu app for a 30% off discount!