Emsworth, Hampshire

Emsworth town centre appears on the surface to be a pleasant rather quaint place with attractive buildings, an old quay, nice restaurants etc and by and large it is but at night it becomes a different story. It probably suffers from being situated next to Havant and Leigh Park
Weekday nights are fairly uneventful, boy racers speed through town to congregate either at the park or round the back of Tesco Express amid much wheel spinning, exhaust smoking, cheap stereo pushed to breaking point noise. ***** on foot mill around outside Tesco Express, the railway station or in the subway intimidating innocent passerbys.
Friday night sees the streets filling up with *********, wearing mini skirts and boob tubes whatever the weather, and ***** in their best Ben Sherman shirts over jeans and white Reeboks, all with a generous sprinkling of gold sovereigns, necklaces etc. The air is thick with the heady mix of cheap perfume / aftershave and Royals. Pubs of **** choice are the Ship, plenty of squaddies to start on at closing time, the Scallywags (now The Railway) or the Bluebell. The night is alive with the sounds of the ***** night out; ‘OI MUSH! wheres nobbo?’ ‘ee’s dahn the scallies wiv nuttso’ ‘ah, cushty mush!’ (taken from a real ‘conversation’ overheard outside the Ship last week). If planning a night out in Emsworth don’t let its genteel appearance in the day fool you, caution is strongly advised.

How grim is your Postcode?