Cranbrook, Kent

In reality the sleepy town of Cranbrook is undoubtedly a minnow compared to some of the ***** strongholds described elsewhere on this site. However, anyone who is familiar with the place will undoubtedly empathise with the alarming realisation that ***** are fast emigrating to the more upper class areas of rural England. Behind the picturesque facade of the village high street with its quaint little shops lies an *********** of council houses and sprawling estates. In this rabbit warren of a settlement they breed like the plague, and spill out into the surrounding areas. Every year the number of toothless chain smoking babypram pushing tracksuit wearing fiends seems to multiply exponentially. Every single one trying to eyeball you whenever they can. And then, of course, one HAS to mention the ‘Alldays’ (convenience store) posse…where the hardest ‘whatcha lookin’ at?’ 13yr old ladies and gentlemen love to reside.

OH GOD!! ******* HELP US!


How grim is your Postcode?

“Well I say we just drive in there and nerve gas the whole ******* nest” – Vasquez, Aliens

Top 50 worst places to live in England 2022 as voted for by you