Cheltenham (vs Croydon)

GloucestershireSouth West

Ok I have read many a post on Croydon… yea not the nicest place in the world – but I was sooooo happy to move here after living in Cheltenham for 2 and a half very very long years.

In a mad moment 3 years ago we decided that Brighton was no place to bring up a child and so we upped sticks and moved to Cheltenham. We had visited a few times before, pretty Regency town with a good ‘arts’ scene etc etc nice shops… hummmm well In the time between making the decision to move and the actual move, the AXIOM (the cool arts centre place) closed down and well all we found was the **** centre of the Universe… even the rich horsey types are *****… just with a Victoria Beckham sized wallet and dress sense. You walk through Croydon on a Saturday – and yes there are ***** a plenty, but there’s also a Gospel choir asking you to choose Jesus… There are fast food chains galore but there are nice places too… there is TX Maxx but there is House of Fasier… Cheletnham has all of the above (except the Gospel Choir becuase there are only about 3 black people in Cheltenham and I think I know them all!)… You see Croydon has a tolerance that Cheltenham will never get… In Cheltenham you are not a man unless you take the girlfriend/wife out on a Friday night but **** up any bloke who looks at her, then **** her up when you get home. You only allow her out during school hours, (but she must tell you exactly what she is up to) and the only night out she is allowed is the weekly girls skittles night… The kids MUST have pierced ears (boys (1) and girls (2)) and wear the same clothes as their parents… the usual **** sports wear or the blue shirt from TK Maxx for men and boys and something tarty with gold jewelery for the ladies and little girls. Women do not have jobs (apart from checkouts or some other demeaning pockey money job)….Since we have been in Croydon we have…eaten in a Mauritian restaurant – in Cheltenham err wouldn’t trust that… “a bit like Vietnamese, but I like a good Chinky” thoughbeen to the theatre there is a theatre in Cheltehnham but they only ever show Abba tributes and 80s revival toursmet people who haven’t tried to rip us off/take us for a ride/treat us like ****interacted with people from outside the United Kingdom I hated it there and am glad to be out of it and the thought of my child growing up there scared the life out of me. – Croydon doesn’t scare me, Cheltenham did – my husband was punched in the face and accused of being a Paedo becuase he does his share of babysittingCheltenham is **** heaven, it is the epitome of ****-dom it is small minded thump ’em if I don’t agree/understand/care what they’re on about plus I think that Burberry must have a factory outlet nearby, earings are not earrings unless they are Elizabeth Duke and as big and ***** looking as possible stop me rambling… just promise never to go there.

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