brownhills, walsall

West MidlandsWest Midlands

brownhills is a small village/town that is unfortunate to be inhabited by a growing population of chavs or as they are known around there kevs.

the biggest hang out is the local ‘offy’ or off licence. they hang in groups of between 2-30 people and often share a can between at least 5 a time. their favourite tipple is ‘carling’ because it is cheap! although i am sure they would favour something else if it came in burberry packaging. the age of these ‘offy’ layabouts is between 9 and 35 (not counting the baby chavs in pushchairs, usually a graco travel system). when removed from the offy when the police can be bothered they drag themselves over to silvercourt gardens where one of them usually has a ground floor one bed flat which you can easily fit 30+ into. here they play footy till 3am usually topless and with there dogs ‘tyson and bruno’ joshing around with them (a rottweiler and staffy of course).

the female of the sex or shaz as they are known (usually called tina or something similar that grates the ears) are often found on the sidelines discussing argos jewellery (gold clowns and t-bars a favourite).

other bad areas are the avenues and holland park where chavs can be spotted and hunted (oh sorry thats that dream i had).

sports for these chavs tends to be in the form of riding ridiculously small bikes usually a childs mountain bike (probably brought from the ‘club’ thats catalogue to you and me) or tazzing up and down the canal or ‘cut’ on a cross bike of some sort.

how these people afford to live is beyond me, some of them sign on for 10-15 years without once going on new deal.

anyone slightly different to these chavs i.e anyone with dress sense gets a mouthful from these yobs because they dont fit in with their tribe of trendy sports wear and shaved heads and burberry attire.

shopping for these people comes in the form of brownhills market any self respecting person would go into walsall town or birmingham to shop but no these people favour a market. here you can get the latest in dodgy named clothes (bootleg of course); pirate DVD’s which are of the worst quality. nasty looking boots for a tenna a pair and of course most importantly of all the mobile accessory stall where they can get all the burberry phone covers you need. they also unlock phones for their latest stolen nokia.

so visit brownhills although if you arent ‘local’ you might get ‘yer head kicked in’







Top 10 worst places to live in England 2019