Written by Anonymous. Posted in Avon, South West, United Kingdom

o.k. a little about me…I’ve lived in bristol since i was four years old, having been born in Newport you could laugh and say that is chavsville, in comparison Newport is Hawai.

o.k.why is bristol the birthplace of the towner?

Its to do with the interbreeding, there were’nt enough bus routes in the suburbs so all the cousins quickly began the old in-out with each other, resulting in some of sickest inbreds the south west has ever seen. These towners eat dog food for bets, drink each others piss for manliness and bone their pets out of loneliness.

Fave chave hang out : basically they either hang out in their local area where they learn their own local social skills (knowle west/s mead/keynsham/kingswood/westbury/barton hill massive etc or they come to BROADMEAD – this is our town centre and this is where i have to work, and this is my personal coffin where the chavs try to get me to be the same as them,

its like a cloud hanging over the city, sometimes you visit a country and you are uplifted by the good vibes …here you are dragged down into a cesspit of confused thoughts from inbred animals who cannot see past their instictial feelings of nastyness. If you catch their eye its a definate threat…a threat that they may see themselves for who ( what ) they are. And they guard the secret of what they are with their own security system, the chav stare, the deadly unhinged look, each eye scanning for location of fear in a person, ahh the pride.

My father is a local GP and this year he has had a huge amount of young chavesses asking why they can’t get pregnant…the reason? They had not yet grown ovaries, the dirty sharons just wanted access to an easy life, strangely my dad also said he had become very suspect that they often brought their brothers with them ( rather than boyfriends ) which led him to fear the worst : another INBRED ready for the streets..another Fred West father, another Texas Chainsaw baby we can learn to love.
I just hope somewhere theres some sick terrorist who has worked out the towners are to blame for everything wrong in the world and he develops some kind of bio weapon to wipe them out, hang on thats a good idea – gotto go and get my bunsen burner out … but first I need a live specimen to experiment on – please deliver chavs to downer down road bristol, i promise to make them suffer before i kill them.




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