Birkenhead – Park High School

MerseysideNorth West

I’ve recently read some of the postings of my dear home town Birkenhead (pronounced Berk – In – Hed); in my personal view they do not appreciate the full ****-ness of which I call home. I would like to comment specifically on Park High School – Specialist Sports College which in my opinion is the definition of ****.
I myself am one of few who have studied at this particular Comprehensive and one of even fewer who actually got GCSE’s that didn’t spell F-U-D-G-E. The British governments rant on about how much they are putting into the British education system. I can see how they have done this Park High School is now a SPECIALIST SPORTS COLLEGE (this now makes Physical education mandatory for all students). Yet I can’t help thinking this was another idea of the education system (JJB sponsored I should think) to force students into buying more sportswear. Park High School (Specialist Sports College) has had so much money invested into to bring it back up to government standards, this has actually worked as now the **** queue up to feed in the canteen, to eat the **** slop that is classed as food (the healthiest, yet not the safest) option is to wait until the very end of lunch, this is when all the fat in the chips is likely to have congealed into a thick slop and then re-used. While eating the over-priced **** you are likely to endure listening to either new York gangster rap or Happy Hardcore Raving “Music”, while your ears are being excruciatingly assaulted you have to be aware around you as somebody’s dinner might choose to jump of the table and give your face, hair or uniform a revamp.
As a visitor to the Specialist Sports College you are likely to see students carrying the neon yellow Dirty Sports bags – which are sold at the school reception for a bargain 50p!! The female species of **** which are likely to attend the school will be easily spotted, wearing over sized Creole earrings or Hoops (depending on what the half price jewelers have in stock). The Girls also seem to slouch, this is due to the huge 9 carrot gold chains around their necks, the chains come in assortments of either a Rag doll School Girl or Clown, yet the latest trend seems to be personalized jewelry stating their names, yet this is sometimes not the case a Tiffany might have lent her Jackie’s Chain or maybe took it off some poor unsuspecting first year while loosing their Virginity behind the sports hall > behind the smokers. The girls can also be spotted in a crown from, the Orange legs and faces. The male ****’s are likely to be sporting a Lacoste ™ jacket instead of the mandatory Blazer.
The talk of the school **** network ranges from – “Greg shagged Gina behind Lisa’s back, and Gina is supposed to be Lisa’s best mate, so Lisa’s gonna kick her head in at the end of the day” to “how Courtney give Ian and Dava a (and I quote) suck after French so they’d help her with her math’s course work”.
There are many more ****-ism’s I could comment on but that would take away the mystery which is ****.

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