Andover – Isle of ****

HampshireSouth East

Andover is geographically isolated from other towns and the ********** here is of the highest quality. The ***** cannot afford to travel and the next town is a good 20 miles away so is well beyond BMX/scooter distance. This place is worthy of study as the Galapagos islands were to Darwin.

A depressing visit to the main Tesco’s allows the Andover visitor to first admire the free display of ‘Max Power’ enhanced cars which are permanent parked in the disabled bays. Andover tends to have a lot of disabled bays something to due with the vast number of people ‘signed off from work due to bad back’ scam. Walking into the store, one is easily mistaken thinking that there must be an England football game on today, the England top (and sometime shorts too) is the uniform of the over 30 ***** in Andover, always topped off with gold sprayed heavy chain around their tattooed necks.  One, can actually buy similar chain from HomeBase or B&Q in the rope and chain section, £1.50/metre and better quality than the Argos range of jewelry.

Most of the aisles are easy to browse, fresh meat/fresh bread aisles are deserted but frequent the ready meal of fizzy drink aisles and you can witness 20 stone 18 year old mothers with ‘Uncle Baz’ who got her pregnant with a trolley full of 8 2 litre bottles of Cola, 14 pot noodles and 5 bags of jumbo assorted crisps.

The final pleasure after paying for your goods, is to squeeze past on your way out, the immense queue specially made for Andover *****, “Lottery and Tobacco only” kiosk. This queue typically shows what this country has descended into people queuing for 20 minutes to spend the last of the giro on 2 packets of **** and 27 scratch cards.

The surrounding area of Andover is hills, I do believe a ground level nuclear detonation would return Andover to green fields with very little damage to surrounding areas.

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2020