Ahhh Aberystwyth, a lovely seaside student town full of surfers, indie chicks and dudes and generally decent people with an above average IQ. surrounded by beaches and with a backdrop of mountains it is a scenic and perfect escape…..with one downfall its the end of the railway line from Birmingham and *****/********* discovered this hideaway after falling asleep off their heads on “white shitte” an ending up here and making it their summer getaway.
Within a few weeks they are literally everywhere crowding the streets and the beaches. walking round the town slack jawed with the obligatory bad bright red tan lines. These little bastards will not only visit for weeks at a time, trashing the seafront, pulling up all the flowers and stealing from local shops, but will actually attempt to stay in Aberystwyth forever applying for a council house or a trailer cause “they wanna give little Jordan and Chardonnay a better future!”
They then go about breeding with the Aberystwyth wannabe *****, creating this hybrid clan of absolute morons who look like a cross between Shrek and swamp thing, to fulfil their **** destiny of ******* around 24hr spar abusing students but making sure they are in safe distance of a security guard, so if someone does decide to give them a good pummeling, the police will be called and they may not be to badly hurt.
After visiting places like Salford and Oldham which seems home to a particularly nasty breed of **** (having a knife pulled on me on a bus because “looked like a mosher” init!) the Aberystywth ***** however intimidating they try to be come of as, pathetic losers in **** cars who go out with 13 year old girls cause no woman their age with half a brain cell would date them.
The population seems to grow every year and we are fearing an absolute take over what do we do?