Wadebridge – The Poor man’s Padstow

Living in Wadebridge, North Cornwall
Living in Wadebridge, North Cornwall

If you have ever payed a visit to North Cornwall then the chances are you have stopped in a town called Wadebridge. Situated roughly about 8 miles or so from it’s closest enemy Padstow (a name which when mentioned around Wadebridge is usually accompanied by a spit on the ground) Wadebridge boasts several shops from Supermarkets like Tesco to Shitmarkets like Lidl, yes Wadebridge has it all even a large Co-op and a cinema.

Now at this point you may be thinking “well this doesn’t sound to bad at all I don’t see why you wrote this” well allow me to take you from the highstreet to the Co-op car park. Here we have the first signs of what the locals are complaining about, youngsters on badly tuned mopeds who drive around the car park until the early hours. Amazingly these arn’t stolen mopeds as these youngsters rich parents can afford to buy them mid or top of the range scooters and the necessary tuning kits which they leave there children to install. Cue the sound of broken exhausts, high revs and car wing mirrors being smashed off . Eventually the moped gangs congregate with the walking wastes of space in the skate park where they sit atop the half pipe smoking there overpriced odourless weed and sipping on cans of lidl brand lager or tesco brand cider.

At this point we see another gang of youths appear, this group are made up of the towns lower class inhabitants, teenage fathers and aspiring rappers who cannot ryme two words together and are known as the “Wadebridge Boys Massive” one of a few gangs who inhabit the town. This gang has been involved in many of the towns notorious crimes such as stealing from vans, breaking into shops, spray painting the town and worst of all…………. littering. Eventually when the alcohol has dried up and the single mothers have been impregnated again the gang disperses taking with them there stolen goods ready to sell on for drug money the next day because the dole money simply wont cover the expenses.

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