Rickmansworth, never heard of it? Good, not many have, and its better it stays that way. Its a local town, for local people. Or, recently, a local town for c***s. They began appearing in numbers a couple of years ago, during rumours that a Mcdonalds was going to be built there. The Mcdonalds building was eventually cancelled, but this only made our burberry wearing friends more angry.
Unlike many towns, they mainly choose not to hang around the town centre. Understandable, as there are no sports shops, and the only major chain shop there is Whsmiths where c***s dare not venture, because they sell ‘Books n stuff, innit’.
They tend to congregate around where I live, an area called Mill End, mainly due to a KFC. I once actually overheard a group of c***s discussing what KFC stood for. One of them said ‘Ere, I know! It stands for crappy f*ckin chicken! Uhuhuhuh!’
Apparently, this dense individual thought crappy was spelt with a K. I hope he was just joking. If not then god help us all. And if he thought it was crappy, why was he stuffing his acne ridden face with a bargain bucket? But I digress.
In nearby watford, there is a school called Westfield. This school is not exactly famed for its high academic results or good behaviour. It is at a bus stop just down the road from me that a group of about 20 westfield children stand to wait for their bus in the mornings. One morning, me and a friend decided to stand dangerously near the bus stop to listen to what these westfield mini c***s talk about. Well….they talk about nothing. Literally, they dont speak. They stand around, eye each other suspiciously and spit. Constantly. Alot of these children, ages 11 to 16 are about 4 ft. How can such a small child generate that much saliva? For over an hour of constant spitting? Eventually their bus arrived, the cue apparently for the c***s to become all athletic and start running away. Glancing at me and my friend, a few of them muttered ‘What you looking at’ before they rushed on. This same bus stop has been smashed by these people several times due to their intense deeds to test their strength against an inanimate object. When the bus stop was given plastic windows they tried to set light to them instead, probably burning their fingers in the process.
Around the corner from me, there is a house inhabited by a family of c***s. Well, there are ALOT of houses inhabited by c***s but these are c***s who recently won the lottery. Using this money, they decided to paint their house flourescent yellow, get a silver painted land rover with a license plate that says ‘Kicks’ incorrectly spelled, and a bloody quad bike with one of their daughters names as a number plate. As you can imagine, this is a c**v magnet. Every single friday night, they have the same goddam blazin squad song playing at full blast so the whole neighborhood can hear. When I knocked to ask them to turn it down, I was given a string of four letter words and an angry dog. This area as a magnet for ALL c***s in rickmansworth. They walk up and down the street, throwing litter into other peoples garden like they own the place. No non c**v can walk across the road without being yelled ‘What you starin at’ from across the streets. Some even rush to the windows of their (yellow) houses to say it, before anyones even seen them. Ive known people whove had bricks through their windows just for saying ‘I dunno, but it isnt pretty!’ Or, of course, they’ll throw a brick through your window for doing nothing at all.
Bassicly, c***s in Ricky are generally more irritating than violent, compared to nearby south oxhey. But, their mark on the town in clear, and if it was gone, then Rickmansworth would go back to being the quaint little English town it once was. Now isnt THAT a nice thought?