Living in Ross-on-Wye, Herefordshire

Ross-on-Wye: The halitosis capital of Europe

Most towns and cities suffer with pollution caused by petrol fumes, factories etc. Not Ross on Wye. The green cloud hanging over this town is 100% organic.

Living in Bromyard, Herefordshire

Bromyard known by the locals as “bumrod”

The local Bromyard youth (pronounced yout or youf) can be witnessed doing Twat laps round the one way system in tractors.

Living in Hereford

Hereford, a city of two halves

Hereford is one of those towns with its own unique smell. Chicken faeces mixed with chemical fertiliser, McDonalds and piss.

Living in Ross-on-wye

Ross-on-Wye: inbreeding, charity shops and fights outside the Eagle

One of the landmarks of Ross on Wye is 'The Market House', a lump of stone that the alcoholics gather around on a Friday night to piss on.

Living in Leominster

Leominster – the UK’s answer to Alabama

The residents speak with a very distinct cross between a strong west-country accent and a slight north welsh twang.