Plymouth, it’s only down from here

I’ve lived in Plymouth for 13 years in January. Being born in one of the most dangerous cities in the UK, you would think you couldn’t get much worse, well you would be wrong.

As you enter the city the first thing you see is “WELCOME TO PLYMOUTH, BRITAIN’S OCEAN CITY” Well for a start there is no ocean, just the sea, so that shows the IQ standard of the city straight away.

In the city centre you will see people dressed in Burberry. These people don’t work, but you will find them in any local newsagents with 20 cans of Fosters, 40 packs of cigarettes and 20 scratch cards all funded by the taxpayer.

The Hoe

Now apparently this so-called-city has some wonderful attractions. One of which being The Hoe. I’s just a seafront surrounded by parking meters and young ner-do-wells sat in the park getting drunk and taunting people.

The Barbican

The Barbican is a parade of shops such as galleries and pubs. Now these pubs attract some interesting characters to say the least, when I say interesting I mean weirdos. On my last count there was 7 pubs in this small 200 yard stretch of road, that is really not good and people need to see that it is just inciting violence rather than tourism.

Devils Point

Another attraction is Devils Point, which is a well known area for ***********. You are more likely to see a kerb crawler than anything interesting here.

Should not be allowed out

I am forever having altercations in this city and can’t really be allowed out in public anymore as there is no escaping the dimness of this city. When you hear some intelligent phrases such as “see those 2 houses there, the one in the middle’s mine” it is difficult to hold yourself back. They try to make a point, but when they realise there is no arguing the only response is “f-off to where you came from”.

People also have the brass balls to come up to you and say “do you have a couple of quid for bus fare” then when you give the straight forward reply of “no” they call you tight. I have already paid for your bus fare in my taxes, it’s clear you haven’t worked a day in your life.

Too close to Cornwall

Another problem with this city is it borders Cornwall. This county is infamous for ********** and they bring themselves over to Plymouth thinking it’s a more civilised place. You are 195 miles from Civilisation and that is when you hit Oxford. Anything down from there should basically be taken off the map.

Speaking of taking places off the map, some Cornish people believe they should be their own country. I have made it clear many times that we should demolish the Tamar Bridge up and dry-dock the ferries and see how long they last and apparently I’m a racist! The latest remark from a Cornish man was “you’ve gotta be from the other side of the Tamar to be English”. Thankfully I’m not that either. “Oh you’re Scottish”, yes I am, I would never class myself at English looking at these standards.

This city is doomed and it’s only going down from here.