Plymouth: England’s Cesspit

Living in Plymouth, Devon, South West
Living in Plymouth, Devon, South West

Plymouth: England’s Cesspit

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Well as my last article titled “Plymouth, the toilet of England” seemed so popular with the locals and even the so called “local newspaper” the Plymouth Live, well I say local, does news in Kent count as local? But anyway, let’s getting into the article. Today I will be focusing on other less salubrious areas, the ones included today aren’t the only ones…. don’t worry I’ll be back.

North Hill

This is the university area of the city that is used by the leeches and ravers known as students. The main street North Hill itself is a **** hole of the highest order, where all you will find is barbers/hairdressers and student accommodation letting agents. There are at least 4 on the one road. Says it all really.

If you take a drive up North Hill on a Friday or Saturday night, you should see sights ranging from people pissing against a wall to someone being glassed. Don’t walk on this road, as they’ll find a way to involve you.

North Prospect

Now this is the area that is better known as “Swilly”. The name better suited to this place would be “Scummy ********”. In this area you find Burberry ******** ***** who hang out around Francines Chip Shop, taunting the locals as they go and get their cod and chips funded by the taxpayer. This is the kind of area that would have a fire in one of the blocks of council flats where the residents don’t have insurance and the local community would feel obliged to start up a fund to raise money for these scrounging families. I’ve already got an ideal name for this fund, how about **** Aid?

Leigham

Leigham is in the other end of the city closer to somewhat upper class areas such as Glenholt, but still not close enough, as it is still a ********. This is where you will find the local yobs riding their push bikes up and down, throwing paint stripper at passing cars and beating each other with hockey sticks. I remember that article in the local paper? It’s a good thing there is a bus that goes directly to Derriford Hospital. Once you’ve been stabbed there’s no point waiting for the ambulance, as they’re already tied up on Southside Street dealing with a drug overdose.

Do not visit this area unless you are 35 stone with muscle and 6ft 10. Leigham also has the local Asda on its doorstep. This is known to the more upper class people that aren’t stupid enough to shop there, as “Chavster” [Although they are completely wrong in their assumptions about Asda’s clientele we must add for legal reasons]. This is because its [not] filled with *****. However, I can’t blame that on Plymouth, I think that’s a nationwide thing?

Barne Barton

Shortly after the Plymouth Live thought to write their article [allegedly] slating me and my opinions that are actually [allegedly] facts, they posted an article about a woman who was shot with an air rifle in broad daylight, with a 21 year old man arrested. I think that says it all.
You have to be another class of stupid to walk around in a public place at 10am with an air rifle.

There have been fires in this location, pushing residents out of the area (lucky them!). On Savage Road there is a burnt out Ford Mondeo that has been there for at least the 8 years. It’s now classed as a piece of local history, “this car was crashed by our local yobs in a police chase, then someone torched it”. If living that close to Cornwall isn’t bad enough.

Efford

Oh this should be fun! Efford has to be one of the biggest dives in the city, whether it’s just a deprived area or has been run down by the alcoholics, I don’t know, but it’s a bugger dump than the before stated areas. This is the only area in the city where a Santa Clause came out one Christmas and handed out cheap Tesco Tracksuits to the locals, no I’m not joking. That’s enough said there, anyone with half a brain cell can work out what i mean.

Unique Features

Plymouth must be the only City in the UK where the Council doesn’t have enough money to the extent they have to close the Civic Centre. I can’t remember exactly how long ago they closed it, but it was fairly recent. However there is one thing I can [not] guarantee, that is it will be left to rot for the next 30 years until it crumbles. The same thing happened to the old Mayflower West Car Park, that just collapsed as it was that [allegedly] neglected. You’d think with the amount of money the city leeches (parking attendants) bring in from fines they could keep a car park…

I honestly don’t know if this city has been neglected or just had terrible inhabitants for so long, locals have gotten used to it, but the amount of people that “love Plymouth” is unreal.

Let’s not forget something that really pisses me and a few others off…

BRITAIN’S OCEAN CITY

Please tell me where the ocean is? It’s the sound on the English channel, not an ocean, that shows the intelligence of the locals. Being so close to locals we get other [charming folk] coming in from the county as there is only one city in the depths named Truro. So mainly on weekends, we have to put up with ***** and inbred locals from towns such as Saltash, Callington, Liskeard, Launceston and Bodmin. I feel sorry for these people. Not only having webbed feet and 6 fingers, but also having to come to Plymouth for entertainment.

I’ll leave it here for now, but I’ll be back…


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