Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in South East

Welcome to Langney, like the desert in many ways… desolate, hostile, strange creatures (pikeys) are the only inhabitants… yet unlike the desert, ‘LANGNAAAYYY’ is about as beautiful as the shaved arse of dog in season.
True, it may not have the greatest chav population, but this isn’t the chav ‘blingin’ hotspot, it’s the chav ‘me mam sent me to pick up the giro’ sorespot. This may give you a vague idea of the crapness of Langney.
The Langney centre has a massive car park, totally useless as it’s thigh deep in litter and so full of chav souped/cocked up Fords that you can’t move anyway.
Moving on to the inside… there is a library mainly containing books trés risqué in uh.. the 1920s, a Mackays, shops selling the cheapest tack you can imagine (and more), some fast food stores and there may be more but this is as far as I went before turning tail and fleeing. There is also a market. You have no idea of the horrors, they are the kinds of things that would cost you thousands in therapy in later life (if you have a life, which i don’t). Gaggles of pikeys, gangstas and chavs (can you see a difference?) surround you on every side; on the left there are pools of puke from the fun the night before and on the right a caravan selling meat smelling almost as putrescent. -Don’t forget the other stalls though, there is everythingyour average chav could want, cheap and very nasty.
If there is one thing that I would say to a new-comer in Langney it’s this: leave.