Illogan is a town Nr Redruth in Cornwall and where my own two ***** live. Being a small town it is run by two different Cornish mafia.

First, there are the adult mafia. These are made up of hoards of single mothers pumping out babies like coins from a fruit machine. They rule by gossip and innuendo and can utterly destroy a persons life by spreading malicious lies.

Second there are the ***** mafia. These idiots gather in small groups to terrify cows and single mothers at every opportunity. They enjoy casual *** with anything warm. Sniffing glue and nail polish and burning down bus shelters. If they are upset they shout rude and insulting things through letter boxes and smash up phone boxes. They take weekend breaks in NewQuay (Another **** haven) and frequent the Penventon Hotel in Redruth in the evenings. At the “Penventon” the highlight of the evening is when the terrible Dj finally shuts up and the staff wheel in trolleys laden with horrible Ginsters Pasties. The **** feeding frenzy then begins vollowed rapidly by vomiting, fighting and fighting and simultaneous vomiting.

How grim is your Postcode?

The local plod from Cambourne have an anti **** patrol in Illogan every night but seem unable to prevent legions of teenage girls getting pregnant at 14. This may be because half the plod are interbred and the other half are dim.

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