Hornchurch, Essex

East AngliaEssex

Hornchurch has long been a nice little place to go for a beer with friends of an evening. Up until recently there was no trouble in the evening on the way home.

But, things are changing.

The ***** from Romford (just up the road) have realised that Romford isn’t safe for them any more. Because the toughest **** is typically a weedy and rather frightened little boy who thinks he’s hard because his mates are with him and he’s had a pint of lager shandy (seriously that’s what they order!!) they are all scared of being arrested as the police are far more visible in Romford and who knows what they could do to a **** ******** with those big batons they carry now??

How grim is your Postcode?

As a result Hornchurch is slowly being taken over by *****. They mostly congregate in Lloyd’s No 1, as the Hogshead is far too expensive for your average ****, although they are slowly filtering into JJ Moon’s.

For those ***** who can’t drink, either because of age or because their mummy’s would be very upset, Hornchurch provides another feature. Because of the road layout it’s possible to ride around and around the highstreet all night long on a stupid little ultra loud moped that has all the power of a **** engaged in highspeed masturbation whilst dreaming of some dirty little ******** that he’s never going to get anywhere with.

Unfortunately, due to the increased **** level in Hornchurch the local pubs have decided to hire bouncers of a weekend. The bouncers are *****. As a result more ***** come in to drink. And so Hornchurch slides further and further into being a **** hotspot.

Top 50 worst places to live in England 2021
Top 50 worst places to live in England 2021