Hornchurch has long been a nice little place to go for a beer with friends of an evening. Up until recently there was no trouble in the evening on the way home.
But, things are changing.
The chavs from Romford (just up the road) have realised that Romford isn’t safe for them any more. Because the toughest chav is typically a weedy and rather frightened little boy who thinks he’s hard because his mates are with him and he’s had a pint of lager shandy (seriously that’s what they order!!) they are all scared of being arrested as the police are far more visible in Romford and who knows what they could do to a chav arsehole with those big batons they carry now??
As a result Hornchurch is slowly being taken over by chavs. They mostly congregate in Lloyd’s No 1, as the Hogshead is far too expensive for your average chav, although they are slowly filtering into JJ Moon’s.
For those chavs who can’t drink, either because of age or because their mummy’s would be very upset, Hornchurch provides another feature. Because of the road layout it’s possible to ride around and around the highstreet all night long on a stupid little ultra loud moped that has all the power of a chav engaged in highspeed masturbation whilst dreaming of some dirty little chavette that he’s never going to get anywhere with.
Unfortunately, due to the increased chav level in Hornchurch the local pubs have decided to hire bouncers of a weekend. The bouncers are chavs. As a result more chavs come in to drink. And so Hornchurch slides further and further into being a chav hotspot.