Welcome to Hoo, if you smoke weed then there’s one dealer per every 3 people. Other than that there’s the ‘hoo boyz’ LOL a wannabe gang. I think someone needs to show them on a map that they don’t live in south east London, they live in a village…
Then you have the Hoo Appreciation which is just the population of Hoo, who don’t smoke weed, mostly made up of middle aged, over weight women, with nothing better to do they spend there afternoons claiming benefits and moaning on the appreciation facebook page that everyone is an ********, someones dog has shat in their garden and the que in the post office was 2 minutes longer then usual.
Laking a train station or McDonalds, we do have 2 Indian restaurants, both of which are **** and possibly the worst Chinese in the country. We are blessed enough to not have as many ***** and stabbings as our neighbours Strood, Chatham and Gillingham. We did, which was probably the highlight of the year for the Hoo Appreciation, a ‘hostage situation’ which was really a drunk man waving a bb gun around in his back garden. This caused pandamoniam in the village, one, yes one road was closed for about half an hour and because of this, 86 people died of starvation, they couldn’t get into the spar.
As for The Hundred of Hoo Academy, it’s the only prison that you get to go to without actually committing a crime. The maths and science teachers [allegedly] enjoy having *** in the classrooms after school [this is definitely not true]. The headteacher has [definitely not done what the author wrote] on more then one occasion and it’s [allegedly] a weekly occurrence for pictures of our teachers on drugs, half naked or pissed out there heads to circulate round the school. Not much teaching happens [in the author’s view], as they have [allegedly] spent their yearly budged on new gates to keep us in and about 300 signs, one for every door, wall, floor and ceiling in the god awful place. I can’t help but think, if they put some money into buying some more pens instead of signs, then they might get some higher exam results.
Deal, a pleasant Kent seaside resort on the face of it, but dig deeper…
Chatham – Viva **** Vegas
Whitstable: get drunk, smell of fish and nearly get into 5 fights
Sheerness: industrial eyesore & the ‘crapital’ of the Isle of Sheppey
Dartford: once a thriving market town, now in decline
Tonbridge: where ***** and toffs come face-to-face
Luton in Chatham is the festering cesspit of Medway
A weary resident’s guide to Planet Thanet
Hoo, if you smoke weed then there’s one dealer for every 3 people