Forgive me if the following description is a little vague for Highbridge is a town that i try not to visit regularly. I live in neighbouring ****** seaside resort, Burnham-on-Sea and find myself frightened to cross the border into Highbridge.
Upon walking into Highbridge expect to find yourself almost stepping on used condoms, no doubt used by a passionate couple of burberry wearing people. And if ever deciding to pay a visit to the local ‘Happy Shopper’ prepare to be amazed by the amount of Max power magazines there are on the shelf! Perfect, one for each of the ‘Nova Crew Boy Racers’ and their Homies. This “Happy Shopper” is situated right next to Highbridges premier fishing spot, the lake! The lake is primarily composed of Kwik-Save trolleys, mud, dead bodies and maybe a few rotting fish
The ***** here are you’re ordinary *****, with a few younger wannabe *****, despite this their gangster attitudes are frightening enough. Pastimes include, ******* around in the 24 hour toilets drinking Lambrini and blackcurrant, public ***, violence (often attacking eachother with them empty lambrini bottles), stealing very, very valuable goods from P.Latifs, Cleo’s… The massage parlour 😉 and who can forget eating Kebabs under the numerous bus shelters.
As soon as you enter Highbridge you are filled with smoke ******** air, with a population of 7,000 people, almost all ***-in-mouth *****… they are so considerate. You will also find decaying buildings a plenty and blocks of council flats to meet the high class needs of your average young **** couple: 2 bedrooms, one for him and his beautiful 15 year old girlfriend, and one for the 5 children.
Highbridge is full of hotspots where **** spotting is at a premium, the Morland estate, which can only be seen on a sunny day, is home to many a ****. Driving in their 5th hand Nova + body kit, or ******* around smoking drugs, you are lucky not to be verbally abused or physically abused… however if the **** you come across is in a good mood he/she may let you off with only a scowl and a look of disgust.
Mind you, it’s not all doom and gloom for Higbridge, the town centre is bustling mainly due to the brilliant ‘cash and carry’ also knows as ‘P.Latifs’. Its wonderful selection of “Genuine” china plates and golden dinner sets (R.R.P £159.99 – P.LATIFS PRICE £9.99) makes this shop far better quality than many others.
Another “great” feature comes along once every week, if you are a resident of highbridge you will have already guessed… Yes that’s right… It’s Highbridge Market! Where once a week all the ***** and ********* gather in once market place, open up their stalls and sell all of their “gear”. Such things as 3 pairs of socks for £1, delicious 10% beef burgers, Nirvana & Offspring hoodies and much, much more!
I warn you now, this is a dangerous place, visit at your peril. Take my word for it, the safest place in Highbridge… is Burnham-on-Sea!