The mystery being how it has survived without falling apart!
Most of the buildings are either of the original 1950s concrete and
steel girder variety (several buildings like Staple Tye’s shopping
center had to be knocked down due to being fundementally unsafe) or of
the tacky “Brookside” brick or 1990s painted metal variety.
Harlow is a very complex place. Its political map both wide and varied
with tensions broewing across it’s myriad borders. There is the cold
war between Harlow chavs and those from it’s mortal enemy: Bishops
Stortford. Sawbridgeworth acts as a cheap version of Cold war Istambul,
where spies from both chavvy communities meet on neutral ground to
trade blows and discuss ‘business’ like getting drunk, who knocked who
up the duff and who is better Tottenham or Arsenal.
Meanwhile Harlow itself is split into many varied factions. There is
Old Harlow, the traditional country chav, resentful of being knocked
off of the top spot in the area by the younger upstarts from across the
There is then Harlow New Town with its many areas, mostly meaning the
same thing. Dirty inbred chav scum who either foul up the local areas
such as Staple Tye, Kathrines, etc, etc or the crumbling Town center
(which can claim more plywood used to board up closed shops than at
your local builders center!)
Finally there is the third (and newest faction): namely the Church
Langely seperatist movement. Church Langley was a new build estate,
built on the edge of Harlow and backing onto the M11 motorway. It
harbours chavs who wish to have their own homeland (possibly the
“people’s republic of inbred, gypsy scumbag gobshite white lightning
drinking tw*ts”) and have since made it their mission to seccede from
Harlow town. Steps have already been taken, with people inisisting
their address be “Church Langley” and not “Harlow!” It is only a matter
of time before hostilities break out.
And there you go. Harlow. Shite town of Essex.