GLENROTHES! home of raeburn heights!(the village in the sky) and has the most roundabouts in europe!, is a s**t hole of a town!, where gangs of drunk teenagers roam the streets at night!, There’s nowhere to go!, there’s nothing to do!, it’s ugly as f**k,! its full of smack heeds!, fat druggie single mums!, and it doesn’t have a fuckin cinema!. and the number of junkies has increased!. Certain areas are now so over run by them, that everyone has moved out. The lego smackheed flats in tanshall and caskieberan are an example and thank f**k there finally gettin ripped down!! the junkies and scum should be left in them when they fuckin knock them down! and i can remember years ago a little boy actually picked up a needle out side the flats right across from my house! and not long after that every mummy and daddy in the whole of caskie banned us from goin near them and the park that was behind them! that was a shame, I loved playng there as a child., and it was totally spoilt by the fuckin aids ridden smack heeds that lived in them! and then theres Macedonia!, which is a large housing estate in Glenrothes, its home to more teenage mums, per square metre, than any other area of Britain. back in the day it was nicknamed "Pudding Lane" by locals. One street near the Rothes Arms(now the new bridge) is known as "S**t Street", because all the worst scum in the universe live there. It is wall-to-wall junkies, fuckin mutant scum, tattoed arse-holes, and fat slag druggie mums! who will not work unless its selling a bit of blow from their Social paid house!, with their legions of offspring that let them scream and run about and never bother to check on them! Nobody has ever heard of lawnmowers!, to judge by the gardens, where the grass grows 7 foot high! All the gardens contain old wheel trims, broken fridges, mountains of used nappies and dog s**t, because the lazy junkie single mum slags who live there can’t be bothered to get off their fat arses and walk their mangy dogs. and next to maci we have the glenwood center! If you hang about here for long enough you will end with one of these three: (i) sex; (ii) a fish supper; or (iii) some fuckin smackheed stickin an aids infected needle in you! or youl get hassle from wee ugly shitty arsed inbred scummy neds askin you to go in and get there fags or drink for them and if you refuse expect a mouthfull of abuse!. When the schools are in, all the smackheed and scummy druggy residents are still asleep ( usually up until 11am if it ain’t Giro day) then Glenrothes can be reasonably quiet and calm. The glenrothes shopping centre is an absolut fuckin disgrace! its where the recycling of taxpayers’ money can be witnessed in the thousands of transactions as giros are transformed into cash to be spent on greggs sausage rolls!, drugs!, and white trainers!, Don’t bother if you’ve any style,shop in edinburgh! its worth the 45 Min drive!.the glenrothes bus station is also located next to it, providing the neds and chavs with convenient rain-free seating for evening drinks!. weve got ORIGONAL SHOE CO., TURRET,and D2! and I think McKays does a roaring trade in granny knickers and there are the usual girlie shops like new look and international for the anima slappers, yeah the 14 year olds trying to pull their dads pals or mabye even their fuckin dads!. Nice trackies can be had second hand fae Oxfam! but the bottom fuckin line is all the shops are s**t! thers f**k all decent! the security guards are a bunch of fat fuckin useless greasy peadophiles that are always seen tryin to impress the 14yr old lassie town rats that wear too much make up and as little clothes as possible with their thongs going right up there fuckin backs for every fuckin peadophile that lurks in the shopping center to see!. but it can be okay when its not populated by greasy shitheaded schoolkids and fat ugly rotten teethed spandex tracky bottom wearing scummy or druggie wimmin with thier inbred bairns. These hideous examples of "womanhood" and "feminisim" are usually found in poundland with her smackheed other half arguin over not to spend too much of their child benifit money on food for the bairn coz they need money for there drugs and cider! if your in the center long enough youl just see what kind of mutants and inbreds come scuttling out from their holes and caves!, youl see just what type of scum and fat disgustin fruiter mongos really live in this septic tank of a druggie town! and thers various old eyesores, sorry, works of art! scatterd all over the town! to show that we have some semblance of culture! their concrete, fibreglass monstrousities in various parts of the town! like the seegulls, the old couple sittin on a bench in the shoppin center, and the big flowers oot side the fetykill fox! what the f**k are they all aboot! what was this c**t takin before he decided to make these!? a total ego trip from some fuckwit artist!. and we have glenrothes very own DIS-Honourable! MSP Henry McLeish! the disgraced former First Minister!… despite being forced to resign from one of Scotland’s highest positions and pocketing a fortune of glenrotheses public money! he still sees fit to walk the town centre testing the water before the next election! One corrupt Bastard! he still hasn’t paid the cash back!… crooked as a donkey’s back leg! We have our very own Rothes Halls! the place to see a fake band or some has been who is struggling for drug money or strugglin to pay their fuckin taxes! Some goo acts have played, Jools Holland, Stereophonics, Bluetones, Super Furry Animals and fuckin towns very own sargent! biggest ignorant bigheeded bastards walkin aboot the toon thinking their gods! id love to gouge out all there fuckin eyes and then skull f**k the lot of them! and when thers nuthing better on at the rothes halls they have a batle ofthe bands or sum shyte like that..last time a whole 20 people turned up pmsfl!!! there was an excellent chinese kickboxing club run every wednesday and sunday there, the instructor builds champions,FACT!!!. we have a B(fuckin joke) in the park every year!,it had a good turn out this year of like 50 people! the no drugs or drink campaign didnt go down very well though haha! . and then thers the prostitutes!, at the Drive-Thru McDonald’s who hang around outside in the car park at night. They are usually young girls, who will carry out sex acts in exchange for a hamburger meal. The girls have an unofficial tarrif, whereby you can get a hand-job in exchange for 6 Chicken McNuggets; a blow-job, for a Big Mac and Fries, and full sex, for a Quarter-Pounder With Cheese Meal. You will often hear conversations such as: "Hey mister, I’ll give you a blow-job for a cheeseburger!", "Alright, but suck me off first, I don’t want ketchup on my cock! Locals call the girls "McHookers"! and when it comes to leuisure The Fife Institute is the only note-worthy venue, but in these times of concern over national obesity rates, mostly in children, Fife Council is trying to SHUT DOWN the Institute, to build more single-mother flats in Girotown! what the f**k!! and now for the night life! The night scene in Glenrothes is like the night scene under a rock. Actually, Glenrothes should be called the town under the rock. All we have is Anima and fuckin styxs!, two VERY bad club for 10 year olds, where you can dance to S Club-7 and Steps and all the other modern shyte that all use mindless media drones with no opinions or personalitys of your own follow!.we have the yard but thats just a filthy fuckin didgustin smelly toilet bowl thats full of b.o stinkin greasy long haired skaters and goths!, when it first opend it was the main night spot! it was the reason the ciswo lost its mob of shite on a fridy night in andy fuckin whileys rave cave! but it wasnt too long till the novilty wore off! it got so packed in ther you couldny move! many a fights broke out coz o stupidity like c***s helplessly bumpin into each other coz of the over crowdin and drinks gettin spilt down each other and thats just enough to set off the most testosterone fulled thug whos just out for the sole purpose of pickin a fight!, it used to have a pole dancing comp every thurs night in wich all the towns most disgustin, fillthy, sweaty, either to fuckin fat or to fuckin skinny, scummy females with a disease startin with every letter in the alphabet, tryin to pole dance! every body did leer round and watch but not coz they were hot! it was coz we were curious to see them make a c**t of them selfs! and we have The Oast House! it should now be named the fuckin Ghost house!, i havint bin in ther in 2 years but even then it was dying! the resident dj on a saturdy night! that fuckin Andy Gourlay of Locomoton was a joke! his music was aboslutely crap! it was all the same songs every week! fuckin time warp! and all the other shyte that gets played at weddin receptions! that kind of pish mixed wi the occasional chart songs! and we have THE NEW BRIDGE TAVERN! If you desire to witness or take part in a pub fight the NEW BRIDGE would be the place!, understanding of strong Glaswegian and scummy accents is a distinct bonus. If you wish to sell trade or receive stolen goods then this is also the place to be! its also a haunt for waste of space druggie smackheeds from Tanshall and MACI!. and we have the GOLDEN ACORN! (or golden bawbag!) This pub is famous for its cheap beer and waterd down spirits and the frequency of visits the Glenrothes Police make to its premises. Hardly a day goes by without trouble flaring up! its full of old smelly pishy pensioners that just sit ther with there farmfood bags at there feet with ther pints and nips, smokin their rollys with their yellow tar stained fingers thats so small they need fuckin tweezers to get the last fuckin draw!, just staring into space reekin of stale piss and tobacco! on a friday night its full of lassies from the ages of 14-18 the security in there is a joke!, bunch of skinny streeks of pish that couldny throw out the rubbish! its also full of the local ned’s mums and dads and this allows you to see where they got their nedish nature from.The Golden Acorn always atracts a lively crowd of the mentally ill and violent "Deliverance" type locals. On top of all this, due to the prevalence of single mothers, broken homes and tomcat morality, there is a very good chance that someone will be having sex with a member of there own family every weekend, with and without their knowledge!. Then we have the CISWO! (The swo!) its full of greasy old smelly full time alkie pensioners with sweaty palms and peedo grins and peedo stares, wanting the wee lassies who dress up like tarts on a friday night!, There was what we all call the Rave Cave in one part with all the dance music wich was for the younger ones who like to get oot their faces on every drug imaginable!, the lassies that went were so loose and easy!, buy them a drink and there anybodys, then there is the live music hall with shitest band ever!,hot bannana i think there called, real fuckin imbarrasment! and then theres karaoke shyte up stairs all it is really is some old hags and old scabby bastards bleching out the same songs over and over again with a karaoke backing tape an amp and a set of speakers run by a fat lager guts called gordon!. Its a rotational system with the same half dozen singers appearing every week! . it was Cheap to get in, Cheap for drinks and a fuckin good time! the CISWO realy was the best venue in glenrothes! the friday nights in ther were the fuckin cockateils bollocks!.the reason we have so many pubs in the town is because you have to be f*****g pissed to live here! anyway! back to anima! anima is a kid on E20 (EastEnders) style place and is the afterbirth of the shittyist club (follies) ever shat onto the face of this earth! and even today anima has been voted the 2nd worst night club in britain!. When Anima opened it was progressive house and trance all night. then The chart brigade turns up to complain. Then it goes cheesy and every second punter wonders "whens he gonna play some Green Velvet or van dyke man". To top it all off when recently attending the RnB night the dj started to play dance. I thought "whys he doing this" then everyone got up and dance to it, at a fuckin RnB night!. its also good if you want to start a fight or get beaten up at the end. slags dont wear sandals, you’ll be likely to cut your feet on all the broken glass in the toilets or the dance floor that doesn’t seem to get cleaned up. Its policed by a bunch of thugs who parade themselves as bouncers. The bouncers here start more fights than break them up! they are all roid monkeys from balbirnie Gym who all love themselves and have all year round sun tans!. This club is very notorious for the brutality of the doormen who work there. A few years ago, some local kids, seeking revenge on the bouncers, drove a car right through the front doors and into the disco, in an attempt to murder the doormen! This place is full of people that cant get in anywhere else….numptie single mum hoors fae Warout wie forty million bairns to different dads!. and if you win the heart of a young lady, ask her to produce some ID, It sours the atmosphere somewhat but it is better to be safe than sorry than finding out after youv took her home and shagged her that shes only fuckin 14!. the future of glenrothes is this new STYXS! its run by the local Mafia who don’t really have clue how to run a pub. every weekend some poor we c**t gets his head stomped on for god knows what reasons and lassies too! inside and outside the premises!, the bouncers are all baby faced, juiced up baboons on power trips that will chuck you out in the most violent manner givin you a few digs to the ribs and pus on the way out! styxs is full of the same scum as anima! all ages and all shapes and sizes and has over 40 year old sweaty, scabby, smelly, scraggy, divorced women that go out with their 18 yr old daughters and their pals and try take home and shagg boys of the same age! the town nightlife is dead because of styxs hopefully anima loses so much buisness that it has to be shut down it would be puttin it out of its fuckin misery! Glenrothes was actually an experiment to show how enforced sterilisation is actually a humanitarian act. A huge amount of Glaswegians, or ‘weegies’, were moved into the new town and allowed to breed freely. now We are having to live with the consequences. Will we ever be set free!… so let the future of glenrothes roll on! but there is one good thing about glenrothes that i can think of!…its the road f*****g out!!
Glenrothes…a historic and tastefully-planned “new town” that must be the chav capital of Eastern Scotland.
Famous for its indoor shopping arcade, where the recycling of taxpayers’ money can be witnessed in the thousands of transactions as giros are transformed into cash to be spent on gold chains and white trainers. The most popular female accessory is the push-chair, closely followed by hooped earrings and a petulant scowl. The Ceacescuesque bus station is located next to the shopping centre, providing the neds and chavs with convenient rain-free seating for evening drinks. What more does one require?
This is a plea to world leaders. Re-target your nuclear missiles on this central Fife town. Do it now! Please!