Throughout the ****-city that is known to triple-digit IQ owners among us as Cardiff, there are three particular areas that are… how can we say… the plughole of a sink full of ****.
These three areas are known as Pentrebane, Fairwater, and Ely. Three neighbouring provinces of Western Cardiff that by all rights should’ve been blown up by some dimwitted anarchist **** months ago.
In all fairness, Fairwater (my area) is a very nice place to live. It’s downfall comes in that, like a chew-toy between two rabid dogs, it is sandwiched between Pentrebane and Ely. The two said areas like nothing more than to have a good get together, and what better place than the place in the middle?
Of course, when i say get together, I don’t mean a good old round of tea and biscuits. It’s one of two things:
1. Have a war (I literally mean WAR. Riot vans, that sorta stuff) between the two opposing sides because they have every reason to be total nemesis’ to each other because the other side is GAY.
2. Join forces and war against every innocent child, man, and pensioner walking around after 6pm.
The place to hang around Fairwater is the Fairwater Green – an innocent and friendly group of shops trying their best to scrape a profit off of the good people of cardiff whilst wiping **** off their doorstep. Anyone stupid enough to walk within ****-audible distance of the green is greeted with such friendly gestures as;
“Ooh got eeny fagz bruv?”
“Ooh got a lite bruv?”
“Oi mate *insert inaudible bullshit” !!!!”
So come to Cardiff. Its ******’ awesome like, innit bruv?