South West

Ahh Brentry…one of the gates to Southmead. How does such a small area manage to hold so many *****?

Brentry has a mix of private and council houses, the latter usually being occupied by the young mum on benefits and her 3 Rottweilers. Although it is considered to be of higher class than Southmead and Henbury, it still has its fair share of ***** and *********. Such people can be found hiking up Knole Lane, on their way to Southmead, whilst pushing their multi-baby-buggies. These generally contain their offspring of varying ethnic backgrounds – fathers unknown. Once at the top of Knole Lane, the **** **** usually congregate outside the Wayfarer pub bus stop and play a game affectionately known as “Phlegm Ball Target Practice”.

If they are feeling flush, the ***** and ********* may decide to stop at Dave’s Kitchen, or “Chinky Dave’s” as the ***** call it. Dinner here is usually a chicken chow mein, eaten by fashioning a shovel out of the cardboard lid. If you look closely, you will see most of their takeaway on the surrounding pavement, where they’ve missed their mouths.

Wandering back to the bus stop, the young ********* may spot a friend. After an intelectual discussion about Creole earrings and belly bars, they may decide to go back down Knole Lane to Henbury – another **** ******** place.

After a fun game of chicken on the double crossing, the ***** indulge in their favourite passtime – ******* around outside Crow Lane shops. Once here, the underage ***** have the option of trying to purchase booze in Threshers. Failing this, they will head on down to the Co-Op or Iceland to sit on the trolley bays.

Sometimes, the ***** get lucky. A souped-up Nova will zoom up Crow Lane, rap music blaring. It will skid onto the zig-zag ‘no parking’ lines, and holler out to the Crow Lane *****. This usually results in a discussion littered with swear words, and the **** gets in. The car zooms off. They’re off to Chinky Daves…..

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2020