Written by Anonymous. Posted in South West

Ahh Brentry…one of the gates to Southmead. How does such a small area manage to hold so many chavs?

Brentry has a mix of private and council houses, the latter usually being occupied by the young mum on benefits and her 3 Rottweilers. Although it is considered to be of higher class than Southmead and Henbury, it still has its fair share of chavs and chavettes. Such people can be found hiking up Knole Lane, on their way to Southmead, whilst pushing their multi-baby-buggies. These generally contain their offspring of varying ethnic backgrounds – fathers unknown. Once at the top of Knole Lane, the chav scum usually congregate outside the Wayfarer pub bus stop and play a game affectionately known as “Phlegm Ball Target Practice”.

If they are feeling flush, the chavs and chavettes may decide to stop at Dave’s Kitchen, or “Chinky Dave’s” as the chavs call it. Dinner here is usually a chicken chow mein, eaten by fashioning a shovel out of the cardboard lid. If you look closely, you will see most of their takeaway on the surrounding pavement, where they’ve missed their mouths.

Wandering back to the bus stop, the young chavettes may spot a friend. After an intelectual discussion about Creole earrings and belly bars, they may decide to go back down Knole Lane to Henbury – another chav infested place.

After a fun game of chicken on the double crossing, the chavs indulge in their favourite passtime – hanging around outside Crow Lane shops. Once here, the underage chavs have the option of trying to purchase booze in Threshers. Failing this, they will head on down to the Co-Op or Iceland to sit on the trolley bays.

Sometimes, the chavs get lucky. A souped-up Nova will zoom up Crow Lane, rap music blaring. It will skid onto the zig-zag ‘no parking’ lines, and holler out to the Crow Lane chavs. This usually results in a discussion littered with swear words, and the chav gets in. The car zooms off. They’re off to Chinky Daves…..

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