Bradley, the mess in the slippers of Huddersfield

BRADLEY if you should accidentally get lost on your way out of Mirfield and into huddersfield, this is where you will end up. Bradley is the armpit of West Yorkshire! The rows and rows of grey pebble dashed houses have made the place a concrete jungle.

Should you be unlucky enough to find you self here, in preparation for the army of young hooligans that will approach you and demand your phone, keys, dolla (money) and anything else the slightest bit valuable, please note: these planks will take your keys regardless of wether you live any where near or not.

The young ***** in Bradley off the notorious Keldregate estate spend their days ‘bustin moves and choons’ ‘mugging old ladies’ (I kid you not), ‘holding up buses with pocket knifes’ and if that gets boring they will wander through to the neighbouring ***** holes ie. Deighton, Fartown ‘pronounced FARR-OWN’, dalton or somewhere equally as run down with screaming banshees of mothers, useless dead legs drug dealing fathers and piss ridden kids, complete with skin heads and chipped teeth.

The young ***** are easy to spot with their trackies, tns (shoes),i kid you not bling bling and rusty sovereigns, walking round like they’ve **** themselves with one glove on. And as for the girls, their the ones with faces like smacked arses and a Croydon face lift pony tail or the most recent ‘scruffy bun’ a good look unless you actually are scruffy.

When they’re not [performing an act we can’t mention] in the back of a Ford Focus, they are either dolled up to the eyeballs with fake tan, cheap makeup, as much fake gold as gravity will allow and sporting the latest vinyl mini-dress from mischief or missB or another little squalor of a shop in ‘TOWN’, complimented by a giant pair of **** wellies (leather knee boots with chunky heels that are 4 inches)! Or alternately the butcher of the girls will dress just like boys but with a thong ******* just underneath their shoulder blades. They can be seen continually beating the **** out of any half good looking girl they see and stealing ‘twocin’ eye brows piercing hoops from claires accessories (the kingdom hall for scruffy little *******) with a ‘side pony’ protruding from one side of the little tarts heads.

These pratts can be heard using phrases such as ‘yow waat up boooiii’ ‘peng-a-leng’ ‘eazzeee b’ ‘fo shizzle my nizzle’ ‘yow ***** runnin yow mouf off yowz gone get beats’ ‘thats heavies’ and hundreds of other **** like words un-used by normal people. Hobbies in Bradley consist of getting ‘pissed up’ ‘stoned and charged’ ‘angin raaarnd the bus stops’ ‘trekkin’ (walkin round terrifying old ladies and young childeren) and many other idiotic pastimes until they are old enough to do as their idols do eg. mother father milkman 50 cent etc. and trapse round with 8 kids screaming “do as ya fackin told or u aitn havin food for a week u scratty little ****” or ‘bonin’ fifteen year olds in alleys.

So in short if you like your car windows, teeth, kneecaps etc. then avoid this ******** like you would a man with leprosy! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

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