South West

Well Bournemouth is probably relatively safe, so long as you only visit in daylight, and know where to hang-out; but get it wrong and you can end up in serious trouble.

There are many suburbs of Bournemouth and this article doesn’t cover these regions, I’m talking solely about the central area.

The first place to be avoided is the Sega Park This is a shady, underlit, smoky place, where the wann-be ***** hang-out. The oldest **** I have seen in the Sega Park is about 12. This does not make them any less harmless. They enter in large groups, a ciggie tucked behind one ear, and spend all their Mum’s benefit money on the machines.

I was once stuck in Bournemouth in with some freinds from the swimming club (this meant there were some kids a couple of years younger than me, about 12), and we decided to play a game of pool. Half way through, a **** girl in all her glory, with hoop earings so large the almost touched her neck, a thing on top of her head which was more plastic hairspray than hair, and plenty of fake gold rings and bracelets, interrupted our play. She couln’t have been older than 12. So I though it slightly odd when she confronted a group of peaceful 12-16 year olds She then accused the youngest member of our group of knifing one of her freinds, an absurd accusation. The rest of her 12 year old crew were ******* around behind her. I could only laugh, as this girl was trying to start a fight with some one, who clearly had the support of a few 15-16 year old lads. She then turned on me and said that I wouldn’t be laughing if she slapped one of my lil *******. We had no intention of getting into trouble for smashing in their tiny, under-nourished faces, so made a swift exit. We shouldn’t have to leave for these ****.

THe other place to be avoided, unless in a large group is the Bowling Alley and Quasar. They are both togethor, underneath a car park, just outside of the main centre. Groups of townies gather there and hurl abuse at anyone who walks past wearing normal clothes. To look directly at a **** would also be worthy of getting your face kicked in, perhaps because they are so ******* ugly and spotty that they don’t want you looking at them.

The beach is generally fine although don’t go near the pier, as this is the area where the ***** go because they can not be arsed to walk any further.

The promenade and the gardens are to be avoided at all costs during the night time hours. A freind of mine was roller blading along the promenade one night with his scout troup, when some townies blocked the path and started kicking them in. My freind had to phone for an ambulance and two of them went to A and E. The attack was entirely unprovoked. I have also heard other people say that they have recieved threats of being knifed for walking through the gardens on a friday or saturday night.

Bournemouth is porbably not as bad as some of the true ChavTowns of the norht, yet it ahs it’s fair share, after all I have barely touched on the suburbs, where the ‘H9 cru’ or the ‘West-Howe Rood boyz’, mainly made up of school leavers, living on the dool and having fun beating up kids or racing their ‘sooped-up’ Nova’s with bodykits that don’t match the original colour of the car, I hud spoiler that push the back or the car right down into the road, an exhaust big enough for two drunken ***** to sleep in, some LED’s off the front, blacked out windows, and some ‘fumpin base beatz’ blaring out at some crazy volume.

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