Borehamwood – **** Media Central

A place where even the fuckwits in the Big Brother house look classy.
I used to work at the Film Studios here, and fortunately they had gates and security guards to keep the little feckers out.

However, whenever a show needed a “rent a mob” audience, the gates were thrown open and the local ***** swarmed like flies to a piece of Elizabeth Duke jewellery.

Since the Studios became the site for the Big Brother House, you can imagine the excitement amongst the local community, as finally, they had SuperStar ***** in their midst. To your average ****, BB is programming of the highest intellectual calibre, lightyears ahead of dross such as Blue Planet and Walking With Dinosaurs. Indeed, ***** have never heard of such programmes and would of course consider them shows for Queeahhhs.

How grim is your Postcode?

I still shudder when I recall the time the Spice Girls were rehearsing. Every ******** for miles around spent days outside the main gate hoping to get a glimpse of five “pop stars” with perhaps even less class than some of them.

The “town” itself consists entirely of a road with ***** shops on either side. A Cash Convertor forms the epicentre of **** activity, where ***** can be see from noon (after all mornings are for people who work for a living) to night ogling **** stereos and trying to trade in a DVD to get a couple of quid for a splif.

A constant stream of automotive dog ***** proceeds up and down the high street with rapidly deafening ***** at the wheel. The car park at the retail park becomes a **** playground after dusk, which is convenient because it has a late closing sports wear superstore also.

The cultural highlight at the other end of the High Street is a huge Tesco, where **** mums, all under 20 but already with several sprogs, spend all day persusing the cut price, bargain discounted clothes. And buying McCain Micro Chips.

The entire housing stock of the town in Council or ex-Council (where undeserving ***** have purchased a craphole house and made money for doing **** all).

Borehamwood is a total craphole utterly devoid of any merit as a destination, and only consider going there on business if it is a choice of that or losing your job. Even then consider carefully and perhaps update your CV.

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