A place where even the fuckwits in the Big Brother house look classy.
I used to work at the Film Studios here, and fortunately they had gates and security guards to keep the little feckers out.

However, whenever a show needed a “rent a mob” audience, the gates were thrown open and the local chavs swarmed like flies to a piece of Elizabeth Duke jewellery.

Since the Studios became the site for the Big Brother House, you can imagine the excitement amongst the local community, as finally, they had SuperStar Chavs in their midst. To your average Chav, BB is programming of the highest intellectual calibre, lightyears ahead of dross such as Blue Planet and Walking With Dinosaurs. Indeed, Chavs have never heard of such programmes and would of course consider them shows for Queeahhhs.

I still shudder when I recall the time the Spice Girls were rehearsing. Every Chavette for miles around spent days outside the main gate hoping to get a glimpse of five “pop stars” with perhaps even less class than some of them.

The “town” itself consists entirely of a road with shite shops on either side. A Cash Convertor forms the epicentre of Chav activity, where Chavs can be see from noon (after all mornings are for people who work for a living) to night ogling crap stereos and trying to trade in a DVD to get a couple of quid for a splif.

A constant stream of automotive dog turds proceeds up and down the high street with rapidly deafening Chavs at the wheel. The car park at the retail park becomes a Chav playground after dusk, which is convenient because it has a late closing sports wear superstore also.

The cultural highlight at the other end of the High Street is a huge Tesco, where Chav mums, all under 20 but already with several sprogs, spend all day persusing the cut price, bargain discounted clothes. And buying McCain Micro Chips.

The entire housing stock of the town in Council or ex-Council (where undeserving Chavs have purchased a craphole house and made money for doing feck all).

Borehamwood is a total craphole utterly devoid of any merit as a destination, and only consider going there on business if it is a choice of that or losing your job. Even then consider carefully and perhaps update your CV.


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