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Archive for March, 2006

Newry – South Armagh/Down Scum Magnet

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Newry…Located halfway between Dublin and Belfast is the central hive to two particular types of chav scum…the Skeet, a common street urchin and the Culchie, a wannabe GAA (Gaelic Athletic Accociation) s**t head who’s idea of a pimped ride is their fathers Ferguson Tractor.

Being nessled in so called Bandit Country both particular types of speices thrive of their alleged links with the IRA or Provos, none or which are remotly true. Oddly enough they are anti drugs i.e. Hash, any one deemed smoking this is a hippy.

Dress sense is rather similar to that of regular chavs; Skeets can be regularly seen acquiring their attire in Louis Boyds, (general Ben Sherman etc) and Newry Market.

Coming of age when being a skeet in Newry begins with carry outs in various spots in the town (Buckfast and Cider ie Ding)  but general pub going starts at around 12 in Squires. One would move up the ladder and go to O Dowds where a chance at getting in to the ajoining club The Relic would be attemped.

Futher afield theres the underage club NV (once known as Caesars) is where the sexual misadventures begin. Over the road is the barn which is a f**king excuse for a club, Laceys. and Barn it is with a farmyards worth of animals and happy hardcore. If interested Google Country Clubland fr the worst in techno remixes of Dolly Parton songs (yes people are in to this)

Worst of all is the common names that non spides are given such as the usuall Gay or Hippie but more suprisingly is “Slayer” used in the context you are a Slayer. 

So if youre vising our proud little town these are places NOT to go….

The Quays on Friday Nights 
The Relic 
Bank (for Posers)
Swimming Pool
in fact just bypass Newry altogether ..go to Warrenpoint..way nicer.

Ill add more some time



P.S. I got out of here and live in the city!     

Leigh, greater manchester, this may be a little different

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Ok this isnt just an account of a bad night out or something I saw when i went somewhere, this is practically how Ive grown up and some snapshots of a few events.It is something for all you anti-chav people to think about as many of you have not had to deal with certain pressures and events. God knows how Im at university!!
 Here are certain things that have happened whilst I was growing up in Leigh.
Age 8 I had my first spliff and fag, at the time I didnt know any better, it was given to me by someone older than me.
Basically, I have been exposed to all types of drugs since that age and taking them was not a matter of if, but when. Leigh is a full on chav town. If you go out there at night, most of the people are 16 because the older people go elsewhere. This new years eve said it all when I went out after returning from my Erasmus placement, and all the nightclubs were empty. And with the few people out, I still managed to see a brawl which took a good few policemen to stop. A few years ago some men got refused from the main club, so they returned later with a load of weapons, beat up the doormen, who had actually brought reinforcements that night, left one in intensive care who I think later died, they then smashed up the bars and the windows in the club before leaving. Outside the nightclub you will always see 14 year olds drinking cider and shouting abuse at people.When I was 15 there was a gang that used to pick on drunken men as they knew they would win.  They would shout abuse at him, wait for a reaction, then 10-20 of them would K.O the man and jump on his head till they get bored, it happened all the time. Once I was on the park drinking my cider when I saw a lad on the floor, with about 7 lads queing up behind him.They were actually taking it in turns to jump on his head off a wheelie bin. If the police asked you any questions you cant say anything otherwise you’d get it aswell.
I think nearly all of my mates have taken class A drugs including myself and its not because of who we are, its where we are from, its a lifestyle thats hard to get out of when all the people you’ve grown up with do it. My change was when I went to university and I wasnt in contact with any drug takers, so i didnt either. My mates say that we are “posh scallies” simply because we are from Leigh but we are educated.  We have endured a chav lifestlye which is mainly drug taking and fighting which has sent some of us off the rails a bit and for the less educated it becomes harder to deal with. One example would be a guy who was in my year at school committed suicide after coming out of prison because he still had a debt due to drugs.  Luckily all my mates have come out clean (up to now) one nearly died after taking too much ghb. It is a strange place really, its only when I went to university and came back that I realised how odd my town really is as in my younger days I used to think it was normal. I have more serious stories to tell but they are about people closer to me and I dont want to broadcast some things on the internet.
I could write these kind of stories forever, but Id like to know some statistics such as the percentage of people from Leigh that go into higher education, the percentage of divorces, the percentage of unemployment and teenage pregnancies as I have read one year that we had the highest teenage pregancy rate and the higher fold estate had the highest divorce rate in the UK, maybe the webmaster could help me find out?? Leigh is also the hometown of Sara Cox btw, she went to my school too i think.

Stevenage – Chav Mecca

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Stevenage. Even the name has chav undertones. As one of the major definitive chav breeding grounds in the UK, chavs have populated this part of the land far longer than most, due to the New Town and the surrounding suburbs (grotty council estates is a more accurate description) was primarily built to house poor working-class Londonians who would otherwise have been living on the streets in the 1950s – 60s (judging by the behaviour of chavs nowadays, some of them do pretty much live on the streets).

The town centre is practically geared up for the acceptance of chavs. It has not been properly renovated since it’s opening in the 1960s (the council have made pathetic attempts to re-pave the area, but it still looks as ghastly as ever), so looming dirty grey-stone buildings surround you wherever you go. Within the town are more cheap, off-the-back-of-a-lorry clothes shops than I care to mention (stocking all the latest chav fashions), a McDonald’s (chav staple diet), two pound shops (always busy), The West Gate Centre (dated shopping mall with no decent shops to speak of, another chav meeting place) and the almost iconic clock tower right in the centre, chav meeting place for many a-year, adjacent to McDonalds and directly opposite some rarely cleaned public toilets. A small complex was built next to the bus station a few years ago in a bid to make the town a little more upmarket, housing a Wetherspoons, Hogshead and a Yates’s (hardly upmarket), the now deceased Cobarna (chav club. Underage teens and petty violence once common, since closed due to violence and the construction of a retirement home over the road. Although why any self respecting pensioner would choose to retire to a quaint residence next to a busy roundabout is beyond me) and a gym, the only relatively non-chavvy structure there. The complex once boasted an over-25s club, but the 70s theme was most unwelcome among the 30-something chav population of Stevenage. A Mecca Bingo hall and dozens of mobile phone shops also reside in the town centre. A 24 Hour Tesco’s and Asda are situated at opposite ends of the town centre, attracting an almost endless stream of underage chavs, pleading with legal drinkers to purchase them some cheap alcohol, Lambrini and cans of a Carling seem to be most popular.

Across the road from the town centre (or over the bridge and through the train station) is the rather un-leisurely leisure park, if you choose to make your visit on a Friday or Saturday night. The park includes two Italian restaurants (Ask and Frankie and Bennys; admittedly few chavs are seen in either), a chinese restaurant (Aroma, about as classy as chavs go), another McDonalds (because otherwise there’d be a mob of angry chavs racing around the car park in their clapped out Vauxhall Nova’s) a Cineworld (typically 60% of all the UK’s pirate DVDs are originally filmed in the 16-screener), The Hollywood Bowl (bowling alley come arcade come bar – popular among chavs), Chicago Rock Cafe (expensive, so chavs tend to avoid it) and another gym. Among the deceased include clubs The Square and Academy (shut due to violence), Smilin’ Sams (arcade/bar/restaurant. Over 18s only past 7.30pm. This obviously didn’t reduce violence) and Exchange (bar/restaurant – too prissy. Unpopular among chavs). The remaining clubs are now Pulse/Vogue (Pulse 18 – 25s, Vogue over 25s) and Jumpin’ Jaks (a rather Butlins-esque type of place, popular with all types of people).

Upon leaving the town, you will find a selection of council estates, all with their own name, shops, graffiti-caked underpasses and gangs. ‘The Oval Crew’ and ‘The Bedwell Crew’ are commonplace topics heard among most chavs. Naturally all of the approximate seven council estates hate each other, and have been waging petty war for decades, armed with BB guns and mopeds. The estates look almost identical wherever you go, just like the chavs who inhabit them.

As a resident of Stevenage for nine years now (trust me, if I wasn’t a poor student I would’ve been long gone by now), I have seen the town go through many stages, metamorphosing from quite a respectable town to a down trodden cesspool, a shadow of it’s former self and almost back again. Although the town is not completely out of the woods, and I personally doubt it will ever regain it’s once adequate reputation, some positive changes have been made. New restaurants are taking the place of once seedy clubs, tougher security measures are being taken on Friday and Saturday nights to make citizens feel safer, clubs are being refurbished to attract a different type of market, possibly shifting their less than desirable reputations. As for the people, well yes in my experience I have met people with more problems than a failing communist country. However, the ‘rough’ image of the Stevenage townspeople is sometimes unjustified. Despite all the people I have met who I wish I hadn’t, there are still those I’m glad to have known in my life and just because they are from Stevenage does not change my opinion of them. However I still plan to leave when I am qualified and have enough money to escape.