Tales of Mytholmroyd

Good old Mytholmroyd with its very small population which seems to be made up of just old people and *****. Now don’t get me wrong the old people seem nice, and don’t often venture out probably because of who might just be lingering around the corner. The ***** are known for their burberry wearing, and for the ********* at least one in a group pushing a pram. They seem to find that no matter what time of the day it is, its good to sit and drink. Their favourite spots seem to be that of the bus shelter up along Cragg road, up by the churches, a wonderful spot. As they throw their so called ‘witty’ comments at you, you feel like shouting back, but know that in a group they might find a sharp object, but only if they put all their braincells together. They also like to hang around the bus stops on Burnley road, they’ve found that the bench right next to the toilets is a great place to congregate, well it has been said they like the smell of pee. If you are waiting at the bus stop, you feel a bit unnvered them being there, so often just get on the first bus that comes even if its not the one you want.
As it reaches that late time of 6pm, they move from this spot over to the steps outside the doctors. Where they spend their time drinking, and that’s about all they do. Not to meantion at some point them having to have *** with as many people as possible, how else do they end up as mothers at 14?
If you go to Calder High, you find that most of the years are now so **** ******** that anyone who is even a little bit different is seen as an outcast. If you happen to wear any black its like sticking a label on your head saying ‘insult me now’.

Some of the funniest experiences I’ve had with ***** in Mytholmroyd:
I had dyed my hair blue, me and my friend were in the toilets, and there was a group of them in there smoking (nothing new there, the smell of pee and smoke they must love it), and one of them goes is that girls hair blue? (I mean isn’t it damn obvious that it is? It makes you wonder how many brain cells they actually have).
I was in the centre of Mytholmroyd waiting for a bus and three ********* come up to me and one of them starts talking to me:
Her:did you have your hair done at the hairdressers?
Her: I can tell, you should go to the hairdressers and dye your hair black your hair looks a mess (and she wouldn’t be back saying things to me if my hair was black?)
Her again: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: yes
Her: does it turn him on?
Me: No
Her to her friends: hey right her hair colour turns her boyfriend on.
It was like you really don’t have any brain cells do you? I prove the point that Mytholmroyd even though its not even a town is ******** with ***** everywhere you look there are more of them, they seem to just jump out of holes. They all don’t go to school but seem to spend their whole time outside school seeming to try and be ‘cool’.
Mytholmroyd should just be terribly burned to the ground get them all out of their holes and **** them. (or just use pestasides), but at the same time trying to watch out for the areas which actually house decent people.

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