Swaffham, kinda near the legendary King’s Lynn.. A known home of C***s and *********, Well Swaffham is kind of King’s Lynns child, A smaller yet just as bad if not worse place, C***s bloody everywhere.. especially in the beautifully (yes i typed that sarcastically) decorated Greyhound Pub.. If you want to have a fight, pick up a 16 year old girl OR guy or get served if you are a 16 yr old girl or guy then this is the place for you… They also have parties (not held in the pub tho) every now again which i made the mistake of going to, Im 21 and i was very very bored, no excuse i know! but I was the oldest there! they were all 15-18 and i mean only a few were 18, all getting drunk on aftershock or pints or just turning up drunk after raiding mummy and daddy’s drinks cabinet before leaving to go drink it in the “wreck” (great name for the park… it is a wreck.. they think a new skateboarding ramp and swings make it look better hahahha) before heading to the “party” to show off the new Burberry Bag Mummy got them or their child/job seekers/lazy bum benefits brought them!
Failing going to the Greyhound, there is also the White Heart, now this is deceiving, it actually doesn’t look that bad… but you wait till you look at someone in the wrong way, you’ve had it!! You can’t fight back because if we were to go through their family trees you will finally find out that this person is actually related to the entire pub full of people and if we trace back even further probably the whole of Swaffham.
There isn’t really a reason for someone who doesn’t live there or near it to actually go, a small and overpriced Co-Op, a few newsagents, an extremely overpriced Waitrose and the world renowned Saturday market. This market seeks everything from tacky tools to whole dead pigs, with those who go resembling zombies striding across the roads with no regard for the road users, but as most vehicles are tractors it’s no issue. So hopefully you will never have the misfortune of visiting there, if you need to pass through and i mean NEED then go quickly and mind out for the c**v packs of 30 c***s and ********* all about 15-18 standing near the Greyhound and the Bus stop waiting to Chuck either plastic bottles or abuse at you!
Watton – Most Boring Town Ever
Dereham – More like Drearam. Stay away if you’re not a local
Downham Market: from ex-cons in the flats by the train tracks to the Retreat Estate
Thetford – An optimists guide
Thetford is very, very scary
Pretty Far from ‘Great’ Yarmouth
Diss, at least it sounds like a nice place
“Dirty GY” a.k.a Great Yarmouth
King’s Lynn: a once prestigious gem reduced to a ********** ground