Written by Anonymous. Posted in United Kingdom

Alsace Lorraine has more to offer us than the humble quiche. In the bustling city of Strasbourg the sights and sounds reminiscent of the cosmopolitan lifestly you might expect, are filthied on every corner, by the burgeoning underclass of France. Chavs and chavettes can be seen all over the city, thanks in part, to the fantastic tram-system, that is abused on a daily basis, by non-paying chav traveller.

Although Strasbourg is the home of haute couture, with a row of expensive boutiques lining the road into homme de fer, from max mara to hugo boss, louis vuitton to hermes, the chav community see this as a pipe-dream. Most choose, like in Britain, to take the sports casual look and transform it to wicked extremes.

Sun visors, often sported upside down, make the perfect unisex fashion accessory. Fashionista chavettes, often co-ordinate these with their boxing boots, or louis vuitton replica bags. Facial hair appears to be a must for the trendy homme around town, but the kind of fluffy, embarrassing tash dad taught you to shave off whilst in the 4th year. Again, the blindingly bright white of a freshly bought lascoste shoe, accompanied by a trouser leg (adidas naturally) tucked into the ribbing of a virgin-white sock, really adds a sense of chav-chic to the whole outfit.

As for places to hang out, homme de fer, with its easy access from all directions, and local maccas, really does seem to be the ideal location for a chav meeting point. If they’re not trying to toss each other under moving trams, or bum fags off passers by, they can simply sit and enjoy the view with a small bottle of cheap french lager….spitting every 3-5 seconds.

There are many fast food outlets in and around Strasbourg, the trainstation is frequented by boys in jaunty angled caps, and over-made up pre teen girls alike, in general, to alienate other customers, and play loudly with their new mobile phones.

In addition to this, the mobile phone shops in the town centre cause a great deal of delight to the average chav. It’s like heaven on earth, where inane ringing tones can be heard for miles. If you’re trying to pass one such establishment, be warned that there will certainly be more coq sportif sportswear, than you can shake a stick at.

You simply cannot turn a corner where there isn’t a chav in Strasbourg, and with it also being the home of the european government, frankly who can blame them. It’s an easy life there for the average chav, a huge cinema complex with cheap films on a tuesday really appeals to the peasants. Strange gurgles and whooping noises are clearly audible in the more high-brow showings, from the youngsters in the back row. This grunting and trilling is commonplace in Strasbourg, and should not be confused, with learning difficulties. Although this is easily done.

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