Stockton on Tees

Stockton on Tees is positively **** central. Why? Well…

i) large number of council estates, each with own **** branding ‘Hardwick’, ‘Ragworth’, ‘Roseworth’ and the jewel in the wooly hat, ‘Blue Hall’;
ii) several ropey happy hardcore clubs in operation;
iii) a few McDonalds around, including a drive-in for some quality boy-racer action;
iv) several branches of JD Sports and its poor relation JJB to kit out inhabitants in luminescent Kappa;
v) a few thousand tasteless inhabitants to sign on at “the nash” and keep the crime figures buoyant.

The usual hangouts are Stockton High Street itself, Billingham Forum, shops on housing estates and buses. Habits include affecting a stoned voice and remeniscing about joints smoked, cars twocked and daft c*nts smacked.

How grim is your Postcode?

*****-spotting can be undertaken by simply reading the ‘Scales of Justice’ column in the local paper, the Evening Gazette where for some reason half of those appearing in court seem to live on Dunbarton Avenue on the Blue Hall Estate.

* I do not recognise the term ‘****’ – it has no meaning in the Northeast. ***** here are known as “raggies” on account of their fetish for bumfluff moustaches and general appearance. They’d probably view most ***** from “down south” as “posh c*nts”.

Top 50 worst places to live in England 2022 as voted for by you