Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in United Kingdom

My name is david attenborough and this is my guide to a trully misguided variant of the chav species.

St Neots is the perfect maiting ground for what could be construde as a perfect natural environment for the lesser spotted chav with a drivers license.

here the chavs natural maiting call is the: “AwIgHt LUv, LikE ME MotOR?” being a very extrovert species, the St Neots chav is compelled to squark his maiting call to a suitable female with errevocable ego, calling regardless of suitability of mate. Other derivatives of this call include “GeT YOur CoaT Luv – YOUve PuLLeD”.

The St Neots chav is very protective of its possessions, mainly its car or to give it its technical term its “S**t-heap” with alloys, and will aggressively try to prove how fast it can go by driving rather recklessly and without due care and attention while maintaining all the while that they are the worlds best driver behind the wheel of the worlds fastest automobile because they have installed a dump valve and have drill small holes in the exhaust.

The St Neots chav like most others is distinctly recognisable by the usual collection of fake jewellery (though not commonly gold with the St Neots species) “Daz ultra white finish” trainers, baseball caps (Again, not commonly Burberry) and the most telling chav accessory “The Hoody” though this item of clothing is frowned upon and oft discarded on the Chavs weekend exscursion into the town centre.

This is but a brief description of the St Neots derivative of Chav and could be extended by quite a bit of text. But hopefully you will have gained enough insight yourself to be able to spot one of these more common and misguided indigeonous creatures.

Happy Hunting!


  • sammy

    Wow, great isn’t it, swap “p**i” for “chav” and suddenly it’s racist…. Nothing like stereotyping people for a quick laugh to make you feel superior is there?

  • bertyboats

    mmmm yer i do have to admit St neots is a little bit chavvy but no where near as bad as the local town Bedford!