South Church is not its own village as it used to be, but a suburb of that unfortunate Chav capital that is Bishop Auckland. There are a few major chav sites in Bishop itself, mainly Woodhouse and McCullough Gardens (apologies to any nice people who live there, but you know exactly what I mean). South Church is, if you can imagine, the preparatory school for Woodhouse. I don’t walk through Woodhouse because I am likely to be mugged/raped or land on a stack of old heroine needles. It is not that bad in South Church but merely because the chavs are a lot younger. The average age is about 12, but there are a lot of them. Once they grow too big or violent for little South Church (which has a fair few nice private houses so they get reported to the police fairly often), they get promoted to Woodhouse. In South Church it is mainly unwelcome, unfriendly abuse that comes my way, and will I buy them alcohol from Ali’s? To which I say go to Asda and do it yourself, as they won’t admit to being 12. I have to blame some of the parents, because these kids are used to wandering around on their own from a young age, so it’s only natural that they’ve found safety in numbers. If they were more looked after as toddlers (I MEAN toddlers) this wouldn’t happen so much. The other day my mother saw a 3 year old boy crying in the streets aparently on his own and asked him where his mummy was. He replied that she wasn’t with him. My mam asked, ‘well who is looking after you?’ (Remember this child is 3 years old!) ‘It’s ok, my brother is’. His brother is 6.