Seriously, your eyes have not deceived you i said Paris. And why i now say Vive le France in regards to Le ****.

Say what you like about the French (okay ian we will: they smell, they eat horses, they play bowls in gravel) but they have one redeeming feature in the capital that makes me scream out loud Vive Le France!!!!!

Only one real **** in all the time (only 4 days albeit) i was there, a barrel full of begging eastern european women and a panzer division of germans on the other hand, but only one ****. Oui Oui Oui!!!!!!! Albeit he was a bit of an uber-****, really over the top i mean. Bright as cricket white tracksuit, trainers and baseball cap. Oversized jewellery, although unlike his english counterparts his LOOKED real. And that strangest of habits, wearing the baseball cap at an odd angle!!!! What is that all about? Am i the only one who remembers the days when caps were worn forwards or back-to-front?

No ***** at the arc de triumphe, no ***** in Notre Dame (don’t think joan of arc can be considered although quasimodo does look quite similar to most **** babies which is strange) and no ***** at the eiffel tower, just the begging women from the former eastern bloc. Quick tip if you’re ever there, when they come up to you asking if you speak english reply ‘non’ in a mock french accent and when they walk away start speaking english as loud as you can (kept me amused for hours that did).

They also have a much worse menace, thats right the American tourist!!! A few of them seem to be **** in some way shape or form, but for them i think its national dress and almost tradition to behave like that (obnoxious, loud, offensive, stupid and ignorant). To be honest i think in the same way that mankind descended from apes, ***** descended from americans.

But back to the point, we have our differences britain and france that can not be avoided. And while some of there habits are disgusting (eating horses, snails, offal and frogs is thorough but disgusting all the same) they have seemingly managed to avoid a widespread outbreak of *********. And for that i think we should say encore, and ask them how in the name of Jesus and Mary Chain they managed to do it.

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