Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Uncategorised

Newbold is full of Chav factions, firstly there is the NYO, which is about 20 strong and is infamous for intimidating old ladies, then there is the proper BO N-UNIT.

The N-UNIT’s love for top designer labels such as Wutang is second to none and they have nicknames that send the shivers down any person’s spine. They refer to each other as names like Dee Bee and 50 Pent. The N-UNIT’s numbers can be anything from 3 to 50 and rising. They love to hang about near McDonalds and strut the streets of Newbold at night, well until 7pm when their curfews kick in. It is rumoured they follow in the footsteps of the idols by tokin on wacky backy. They also enjoy the occasional MD20/20 bottle and supping the deliciously tart White Lighting or Frosty Jacks cider on a Friday night. This can be bought for £1.99 for 3 litres and can keep a tramp warm in arctic conditions for up to 3 days. The Chav’s in Newbold enjoy gathering around the local Spar and the entire gang tends to get through 48 packets of Space Invaders Crisps and 100 Calipso cartons whenever they meet. As you can see only the low economy products are required for these intellectual species as they need to save there money for the latest Wutang clothing on the market (yes the town market on a Thursday) while also requiring bat piss money (alcohol or more suitably ethanol). The Chavs in the N-Unit range from about 13-16 years old.

There are also younger Chavs in Newbold that enjoy attending the under 18’s club nights at the uptown Zanzibar on a Tuesday night and the classy Club Fever on a Thursday. These nights Chavs try to act as intimidating as possible walking round as if they have left their coat-hangers in there hoodys while balancing their Burberry or Nike nylon baseball caps on there head like some sort of circus act. It is also rumoured that these Chavs even wear their caps in the shower. These Chavs are proper Rude Boys. In the Club it’s a competition on which Chav can have the most fights before being escorted home by the bouncer. Club Fever is partly to blame because it charges £5 entry fee with “drink as much pop as you want”, included. Surely the effects of 15 pints of Rola Cola would send any 14 year old floating round top of the ceiling.

Newbold is full of rude boy’s aka Chavs. There are loads that gather on Newbold’s notorious roads such as Racecourse Rd, Occupation Rd and on the Bankings. When walking down these streets there is so many of them they often can stretch the entire length of the street. These streets are packed out with Chavs on special occassions and the Chavs do enjoy special occasions. On Bonfire night Chavs gather at the local Stand Road Park to defend their patch against the notorious gangs from Brimington, Boythorpe and Birdholme. Newbolds Chavs tend to give these firms the run on most occassions and are mighty in defending there own patch due to them knowing the streets better than the back of there hand. This is because they walk the streets all the time whereas they rarely see the back of their hands due to the influence’s of the MD20/20.

There is also the older Chavs. One of them keeps the 10p Transformer Crisp Company in business and also road sweepers in employment. They love being loud and rap and preach like Ali G. They love being arrested and get in trouble for dabbling in the odd bit (shitloads) of wacky backy. Their favourite quote is “I swear down” and they use it at the beginning and end of every sentence.