Written by Anonymous. Posted in East Anglia, Suffolk, United Kingdom

Well i am possibly the least likely candidate to ride in and try to save the good name of Lowestoft.
My home town is a chaver heaven however the other user to post about the town failed to realise that although the population is fairly inbred, there is a small pocket of resistance, who wish to live their lives without the horrors of Burberry and socks over trackies.

As noted previous the east coast is a charver dream. With Yarmouth ( we like to call it Crap Yarmouth cos there is nothing Great about it ) lieing to the North, and Nar’widge ( Norwich ) is our closest city.

Charver hang outs include the town centre in general, i will not continue to talk about station square or the Britain centre as they are boils on the proverbial backside of the world and i think the other poster managed to sum the place up nicely.

Lowestofts #1 fasion accessory has to be :
For Him : The crap £5 argos sovrign ring & Baseball cap.
For Her : A pram

You are no one in this town if you dont have your first pram aged around 15. The pride in being a charver single mum must be great indeed.

Charver night spots.
Now the town does have its nice places, The Crown Hotel and Harbour Faith have the sense to assign bouncers and regulate the influx of Charvers meaning you can have a s**t free night, you just gotta go to the right places.

some places will let you drink and fight your little inbred heart away however

Drinks: a local favourite is Stella Artois. Although expensive it takes a real man to be able to drink 4 pints and beat up your girlfriend.
nicknammed : lowestoft super man juice , Stella act a twat and Wife Beater this stuff is worth every penny !!

O’Reilys pub looks like a dive and is a dive, on certain nights they allow djs to come in and “spin” you are guarenteed smashed bottles and lots of gurning as the local charvers drop e’s and make shapes until the small hours.
Step in there in your finest skate pants and band affliated T-shirt and you are guarenteed to be stabbed or bottled.
WELCOME TO LOWESTOFT !

Hanks bar is a beautyfull spot, sporting 2 levels and a drinks offer this place attracts the towns biggest idiots, with an average of 4-6 fights a night its like attending a boxing match. If you walk home via the sea front you are guarenteed to look out to the beautyfull ocean and beach bathed in moonlight….
literally, you will see at least 3-4 charver couples having sex on the beach.

The car park, situated perfectly opposite Hanks bar is the property of KFC, allowing the cruisers to park their heaps of s**t in the car park. The perfect planning of a KFC and a charver nightclub = cruisers can watch their breast and thigh while also having a greasy box to stick their bones into.
Almost a perfect senario.

I have seen a great reference to the Lowestoft Journal in the other post, now he failed to see “the club scene ” in the centre of the paper every week you will see at least 6 pictures which could take charver of the month on their own, but allas we have never entered them as its not fair this one town taking so much glory from other charvers.

To conclude … Lowestoft is a charver hole with no comparisons, Crap Yarmouth is 100x worse than lowestoft sporting a nice long sea front to cruise down and spot chavetes.

Id like to clear up the common misconception made that Lowestoft has a population of 100% charvers.
Id like to squarely inform the world that its closer to 90% there are a few of us struggling in this town.

To quote the Deftones..
“now drive me far away i dont care where just far away”


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